Allez Les Noirs

If you can’t beat them ...

2010-09-22T16:44:00.001+12:00

I've merged with Ferdy at ruggerblogger.

Let's hope this lasts longer than the Central Vikings.

Ta.

At the risk of sounding repetitive...

2009-10-29T16:05:00.003+13:00

Scrap Super rugby completely.

Have the cojones to stand by your real, roots level product - Kiwi provincial rugby.

Stop propping up the ARU, who can never win against AFL and the NRL.

Our best provinces should go on to play the best Currie Cup provinces ... not 'franchises'. Maybe even some biannual comp to also meet the best Top 14, Guinness Premiership and Heineken Cup teams at some stage.

Let All Blacks play in their home towns again, and not all emigrate to Canterbury as a career path.

Make Tests special again i.e. do not play the same teams 3-4 times a year.

Otherwise, if the All Whites beat Bahrain in two weeks, well, rugby can kiss its TV audience goodbye in 2010.

The Bigger Picture

2009-07-28T18:50:00.006+12:00

RFU’s commercial director, Paul Vaughan says England’s bid to host the 2015 IRB Rugby World Cup “… was based on maximising revenue with the New Zealand World Cup not likely to be particularly brilliant from a financial aspect.” And The Guardian piles in with “… the 2011 World Cup in New Zealand set to bring in the lowest return for 12 years.”

I could not bear to read the Times.

Can this bullshit end please? The 2011 World Cup will NOT run at a loss ... not as far as the IRB are concerned. They will get the same massive £56m fee from the NZRU that France paid for 2007. It is the NZRU that will take the financial hit and loss of about $30m. The Old Farts in Dublin will get their filthy lucre, along with their NZ time late night kick-offs. The IRB will wear not a smidge of loss.

And maybe we are lucky we got it at all, as now the fee they want from the host will nearly double by the 2019 tournament.

Goodbye fans, goodbye true rugby nations. They can hide all they want behind claims of wanting to be a true global code, or getting Sevens into the Olympics (who cares?). Hell, if Paris had won the 2012 Games instead of London, Sevens probably would be in there ... instead of Morris Dancing or Cheese Rolling.

These shits will sell the game out to taxpayer owned banks and debt ridden Japanese sponsors. Japan ... its all about the growing the bank balance, I mean ... game! The Home Unions, having had their way with kicking the ELVs in to touch (without even considering the ‘E’ stood for ‘experimental’) are now going to sew the next 10-15 years of World Cups up for their school chums. Italy must be fuming, as will be SARU at having their bids probably derailed by bidders being ‘recommended’ by the selection process.

Its not just all about the Tri-Nations ...

Wrong again

2009-07-26T11:24:00.000+12:00

This is getting boring.

We'll win.

2009-07-23T18:28:00.002+12:00

Maybe by 22-16 ... seems to be the Tri Nations most popular score.

Tri Nations: looking forward

2009-07-05T11:18:00.010+12:00

I sat up late last night when I got home, and I watched the final Lions Test against the Boks. I think talk of the match being a ‘dead rubber’ was unfair. Sure the series was lost for the Lions, but they definitely had their pride to play for (see what I did there?). These tours are hard for the Lions: the odds are always stacked against their squad in terms of real preparation and team bonding, and so it was always possible they would really get it together for the last Test, especially against a Springbok team with 10 changes.

Even Evil Eddie Jones thought so before the game.

Last night the Lions played all the footy. Ricky Flutey showed real class at 12 (making Shane Williams’ second try), as did Rob Kearney the fullback and unstoppable No.8 Jamie Heaslip of Ireland stood out. They deserved the win, after going close last week. Hell, even Phil Vickery produced a great comeback performance against ‘The Beast’ up front. I really enjoyed watching the game, and it actually relaxed me a little bit about us playing the Boks now.

This Tri Nations is going to be tough, but very hard to call. Before the Lions tour I thought the Boks looked awesome and would whitewash it - after all we had been poor to shit, and the Wobblies were looking to build fast under Dingo Deans, but now I am not so worried.

Aussie had a flattering two Tests against Italy, and did not put France away. South Africa have enough depth and fire in the belly to beat all visitors on their home turf, but they have to travel away too ... and I can't help feel their ill discipline may become a monkey on their back this season. Last night their new cap N0. 6 Heinrich Brussow seemed set on picking fights constantly, and Pierre Spies chased biff as much as he could once subbed on. Add Matfield, Botha and Burger to this motley crew and they will see red. Brad Thorn may be busy.

Sure their superboots like Frans & Morne Steyn can kick to Mars, but I still fancy our back three (whoever they are) to catch, kick or carry it back at them.

I guess the real flavour this year is rebuilding. All three sides seem to have a core of quite experienced players being bolstered by a new flock of bolters or debutantes ... Super rugby certainly throws up freaks every year. And that puts all the teams in the same boat, only halfway through this World Cup cycle of four years.

We certainly go in as underdogs, but that is overdue. Let Peter de Villiers sweat it out as the favourite’s coach, then trip over his words under pressure.

I’m now very much looking forward to the 3N - it should be a classic given the uncertainty and tension over form, mixed the bristling physicality of all three squads. That recently concluded Lions Tour of South Africa produced a great mix of brutial forward power and expansive back play, plus the return of test mauls and excellent lineout & scrum play. ... that mix of skills and body type that do make rugby a great game, especially at the pinnacle of Test level.

So now we can stop bashing our All Backs and get behind them for the next few months. After all, givien our recent history, we are supposed to be peaking now, two years out from the World Cup. Instead, we are rebuilding, soul searching and looking forward. Maybe this is Ted’s master plan?

Brian Moore: Penis

2009-06-30T22:35:00.004+12:00

Why should I say any more than that, when he does it so well himself. 3-0? Four Moore Years!

I can’t wait for him to come out here for our 2011 “World Cup of Campervans” as he called it. No doubt he’ll get room service up in his BBC Ivory Tower suite.

Vive L‘Ovalie.

2009-06-17T17:16:00.005+12:00

Excellent. I was always looking forward to the Wellington test against France because I figured it would be a match between two first string teams. It has not panned out that way; NZ have had a shocker of selection rout, and France’s supposed second stringers (well, less Clermont-Auvergne and Perpignan players) beat us.

I was in Cardiff for the quarter final defeat, and saw this as our chance to redress the balance in the All Black’s favour. It has not panned out that way, and now we are fighting to save the series. We are also trying to stop a team getting 3 from 3 against us. What other country can claim that as a record?

We write Les Bleus off at our peril. We can’t just lump the Top 14 in with the English Premiership and label it all “boring Northern Hemisphere rugby”. They came to play. They beat us. They, literally, maulled us.

I’d replace the Powerade logo on those training tops with ‘Must try harder’.

Now Henry & Co. have to deliver. They have a tendency to nail their colours to certain players very quickly, elevating them to the Test team one week, then dropping them next week when it does not come off. I know we are depleted by injury, but bar Cory Jane & Bard Thorne in Dunedin, we were piss poor and off the pace. Complacent. The brains trust have had a week to counter Picamoles, Ouedraogo and Dusautoir, as well as the rush defence that blitzed us.
Chabal is a side show. If our loosies don’t front up, we’ll lose again.

No.s 1,2,3,6,7,8,9,10, 12 and 13 all need to dig deep. And can we end the Toeava experiment? If a coach says his future is at 15 then why persist with dumping the kid in at centre in Tests? No wonder he can’t settle. Looking forward to Smith & Nonu paying together - its a chance for them to step up and prove they are a winning combo.

Its not the end of the world as its so early in the season, and the reaction was always going to be more along the lines of serious navel gazing than real fan outrage because its the French. You can’t hate the French ... they play the kind of rugby we espouse as our own. Enjoy it. There is nothing wrong with losing to a better, classier team. Frankly, if the French play as well this week, and beat a lacklustre NZ side again, I would not be sad.

If the rain stays away it should be a cracker, and I hope the atmosphere builds to match the game’s significance. I hope we throw the proverbial kitchen sink at them - treat it as a knockout match and drop them on the canvas. Ding ding. KO. And then the first Lions/Springbok Test is on at 1am. Ouch.

Vive L‘Ovalie. Allez les noirs!

Welcome Back Luke

2009-06-08T19:08:00.003+12:00

He tried the best he could in Cardiff in 2007, then headed off to chase a Heineken Cup with Sale (Dad would never let him play for the Canes you see).

Now he is back, and getting the Travellator into the All Blacks first XV, barely having cleared customs, and only having taken part in the BaaBaas Wallaby Love Fest.

Good luck to him, I say. He is a player that has the ‘X’ we all love to watch, but can we please stop harping on about him being the BandAid for No. 10 while DC is sunning it up on crutches in Southern France ... remember that he has spent two seasons at 13 for Sale, in the plod of the Guinness Premiership. Give him a chance sure, but give Donald a chance too.

The NZRU better not get sucked in to a bidding war for Sonny Bill. Bugger him. He has to prove himself too, and if he really wants to be an All Black he will. But he has to come to us.

Don't know if much can be read in to that Wallaby win. They will not get any time and space against us and the Boks. Last time they will post more than 25 points this year.

Bring on the French. Oh lala!

Who’s No. 1? Not us.

2009-06-01T19:28:00.005+12:00

South Africa are World Champs, World Sevens Champs, and now the Bulls are back-to-back Super 14 winners. They are by any measure the best rugby nation in the world.

New Zealand? Not sure where we stand. I think it could be one of those ‘fair to middling’ years for the All Blacks. You know, those years where we will keep (but not blitz) the Bledisloe Cup, but not get the Tri Nations ... that will go to the battle-hardened Boks, fresh from taming the Lions.

The loss by the Chiefs looked very ugly on the scoreboard, but I don’t think its fair for any Kiwi fans to gripe about them getting there - it was no fluke. The Canes looked like walking wounded as that semi final ended, if they had managed to win, they would have been eaten in a final.

No Carter. No McCaw. No Williams. No Sivivatu. Should be an interesting season, and one that may (I said ‘may’) allow some fresh faces to stand out. But at least they didn’t pick Luaki.

I can’t wait for the second test against France on June 20 in Wellington - it will be the rematch for Cardiff in 2007. We better watch out ...

Pre Knock-out Musings

2009-05-17T19:01:00.006+12:00

What do I know? Nothing.

I mean, how bad, sloppy, rudderless were the Hurricanes in those early home games, that I never rated them capable of getting this far. I always doubted it, I'll admit it ... but I think its easier that way. “Expect the unexpected”? That would be winning the title.

Looking forward to the finals now, and the rematch North Island derby between the ‘Canes and the Chiefs, but consider these mental doodlings:

How classy and reliable is Leon MacDonald? Where was he in Cardiff? Sayonara, Rangi.
With 3 NZ teams and one South African team in the finals, why the hell should the ARU get another team?
Will an NZ champion rekindle the public’s interest and lead to All Black sell out crowds?
Hey Wellington Rugby Union ... after another year of upfront season pass attendance, how about a FREE playoff ticket offer for being so effing loyal? As I’m over 14, I pay through the nose.
Could the Crusaders do the (apparently) impossible?
If the Hurricanes win, will they buy Captain Hurricane some new overalls? The dude looks faded.
Why even put the first 8 rounds on telly? Nobody watched and no teams dominated - its a traffic jam on the points table at week 14
Given the level of interest in NZ derbies this season, can we please have our All Blacks in the Air NZ Cup?
And if the French are going to send weak teams for Tests, then don’t play them - better still, give them a game against the NZ Maori who are owed a ‘Test’ they lost against the Boks

The Chiefs have had a good season ... now move over and let the Hurricanes have theirs. They are ready this year; they have fog lamps for the final.

L8trz.

Hardcore

2009-04-28T18:38:00.013+12:00

Yes, despite all my best attempts to run them down - I am a pessimistic old git - the Hurricanes are starting to deserve the favourite tag hooked on them before this year’s Super 14. They are peaking at the right time and we should all be happy. Except its all doomed. We will finally get to another final only to have it called off due to ‘Swine Flu’.

It may be time to stock up on Tamiflu, face masks, even Star Anise to get you through. Attending such a public gathering under pain of death may be at least as twice as frustrating as going to a normal Hurricanes knockout match.

Personally, I blame all these poncey Auckland schools. There is a Recesion on fercrissakes, yet these little toffs are traipsing of to Mexico for a week!!?? WTF? When I was a kid, we got to go here of we were lucky ... for the night! Look at it, its glorious.

The next time you think of sending little Janey or Crispin off to a high quality private educational institution up North, think again.

You could well be sending them overseas on some kind of Gap Year Plague Mission, turning them in to Agar Plates of the Apocalypse.

Maybe this is the Mayans & Aztecs paying the West back for the Conquistadores. Or maybe its all just another pile of media beat up a la Bird Flu like we went through 3-4 years ago.

If face masks become the “new beret”, does it mean Altern8 and heavy acid techno will come back too? got to be better than Op Shop.

Lions Squad Announced today

2009-04-21T10:26:00.011+12:00

Ian McGeechan will announce his Lions squad today for the tour of South Africa. Ha has already named Paul O’Connell (POC), the Munster Monster, as his captain ... picking him over the other Irish favourite for the job, Brian O’Driscoll (BOD). The rest of the touring party that will have to face the World Champ Springboks in 3 Tests will be named tonight our time.

It is expected that the Wasps head man, and former Lion himself, McGeechan will name a touring group of 35 or 36; far less than the bloated band of 45 gypsies Clive Woodward brought out here in 2005. And that tally did not include his QCs and Alaistair ‘Bomber’ Campbell.

BBC has a team picker here and I have had a crack for the first Test team. Once again I will qualify my selections by saying I know bugger all, and I am just a BeanBag Pundit with some beers in the fridge ...

Much of the talk has been about picking a bunch of bruisers to battle the Boks up front, and it will be attritional, but McGeechan is wily - he will want to have a mobile bunch as well I think. Defence will keep the Lions in the game, but it will not win it for them. They will have to score tries. Duh.

Despite the number of tries that England did actually score in the Six Nations, their players are a little thin in this squad, and that simply comes because of Irish and Welsh standouts in key positions and the need to (rightly) slot in existing combinations around them first up. I would say that the Test team may very change noticeably over the tour. I think McGeechan will pick on form from all the fixtures. If players like Lee Halfpenny, Delon Armitage or James Haskell or Nick Kennedy get on the plane, they may well get a Test appearance.

So there’s my effort. Unlikely to see Shanklin and BOD together, but what the hell ... do something different, play your cards and let them swap about; power and pace. Henson goes for me, still has to be fit (otherwise Ricki Flutey), but he ticks lots of boxes. And 9,10,12 are going to make a truck load of tackles.Whatever the outcome, it will be hard for the tourists. The Lions are simply at a disadvantage because of the lack of preparation and the mix of nationalities ... but that is why these tours are so good.

“Can they do it in the face of such sheer odds?”

Kiwis will just have to be a spectators this year because the biggest Rugby Union event of the year does not involve us. Might do all our “hubris” some good, eh?

My Tuppence Worth

2009-04-18T10:28:00.009+12:00

Team Veitch? What is this? An America’s Cup syndicate?

Tony Veitch has enough money and media friends (like “Holmsie”) at TVNZ to construct a very sneaky narrative out of all this. Don’t forget his very pre-crunch salary paid to him by state owned TVNZ, or that this ‘sports journalist’, like all TV personalities these days, gets groomed via womens mags and appearances on star-fucking, ego-fellating piles of shit like ‘Dancing With The Stars’, into what we call a S’leb ... someone we can all relate to, feel like we know, and maybe if we are lucky see their wedding photos, or wrinkly new baby!! Arse.

Many high-powered Kiwis, almost all from Planet Sport, got conned in to giving personal references to Team Veitch, like Susan Devoy and Graham Henry ... and people are not happy about it. But now the same referees are scrambling to distance themselves from their own words, claiming they were misled. Come on people, get smart. Dance with that Devil ... and you may get voted off.

The media scramble will continue - this the perfect mix (storm?) of celebrity, violence and public bloodletting that we all love. They must be creaming themselves over at Stuff! It’s like our very own OJ! Veitch will get his TV One soapbox - and heaven knows he might need the box to stand on. He will probably be back on telly and radio in the not too distant future.

This blogging stuff makes it really easy to attack someone, eh? Personally, I have never liked him; never connected with his toothy grin, his smarmy, just-one-of-the-blokes media persona. It stems from some primeval memory I can’t erase of him (I am sure it’s him) interviewing Steffi Graf for the Holmes show years ago. On gaining access to - at the time - the greatest womens tennis player on the planet, he asked her “How did you get those fantastic legs?”. If it wasn’t Veitch, I am sorry ... though I remember it as him. And one day I could do jury duty!

If that level of crapness is what makes you a sports journalist, then I am off to pick up my Pulitzer.

Anyone remember that poor 13 year old girl raped in Auckland this week? No, because she can’t afford a PR team and doesn’t see the One News team in the staff cafeteria every day.

Rant over. Got to get ready for the Hurricanes game ... like, that will cheer me up!

Cup Spillage

2009-04-13T11:10:00.007+12:00

Can’t wait to see how this one pans out - England’s Rugby Union looks set to be battling it out with Japan to get the 2015 Rugby World Cup now. After all the sanctimonious bleating about the desperate need to “grow the game” in 2011 and how NZ was simply a backwards, sympathetic choice, let’s see how the Old Farts at Twickenham spin this one out. The Poms heavily invested in Japan for 2011, and were openly against NZ getting it. Either choice next time, its laying out RWC right in the grubby palms of even more massive corporate ownership. Its already pimped out to the likes of Visa and Heineken, but take it to either Japan or England and the scramble for a slice of Brand Pie will be frightening. And if Kiwis think they are going to have steep ticket prices for 2011, they may be surprised in four and eight years time. I’d rather have our “World Cup of Campervans” in 2011, as BBC Rent-a-Rant Brian Moore described it, than some sponsors only, boardroom sausage fest.

I love it - ah!

2009-04-08T11:31:00.011+12:00

Can’t get interest up for Super 14 still. Maybe it will return at the semis stage, but with so much rugby during the year now (the NZ v Australia Bledisloe Cup Test in Wellington is not until the 19th of September!) I have been soaking up the cricket series against India, and enjoying radio commentary of it.

Coming back to New Zealand to live earlier this year, there was a clear list of things I wanted to experience again. I wanted to drink some Emerson’s Bookbinder, eat a decent Malaysian curry with Roti bread, mow a lawn, make local phone calls for free, go to the beach (not the “seaside”) ... and spend a day at the Basin Reserve, watching Test cricket from the embankment. Well, check that last one off.

I’ve seen the MCG, been to Lords and The Oval ... but our Basin is in a class of its own as a rare ground that retains some much of the village green flavour. It may in truth be a roundabout for State Highway 1, but its unique layout allows spectators to walk 360 degrees around the ground and lean over the pickets begging autographs off resting fast bowlers. What other cricket ground in the world has a layout that lets conga lines of visiting fans (whether Barmy or Bhaji Army) loop around it all day? And what other sports ground lets kids get out there and play on the pitch in the interval? Its a throwback, and a glorious one.

It does have a big flash replay screen now (gone is the ‘ransom note’ scoreboard of ten years ago), but the bank remains untouched, where fans of both teams mingle, and families can giggle at hopped up rogues. And I have not even mentioned the hotdogs - another Kiwi delicacy I was keen to reconnect with.

Loved it. Though typical of Wellington these days ... the queue at the espresso stand was 3 times as long as the beer shack. If they can sell that much caffeine at a five day test, what will they sell to T20 fans? P?

The Indians may have lacked the killer instinct to put us away on the last day and, but they showed their class constantly ... and again New Zealand struggled to concentrate for five days. That’s fine. We punch well above our weight in cricket, we always have. And now that lucrative career earnings are possible via the IPL for our top players, we may well forge a crop of true world class players. Competing in Tests may well continue to be a struggle, but I have really enjoyed watching a bunch of youngish guys step up to, and consolidate their places in, our international sides. Jesse Ryder, Martin Guptill and Grant Elliot, are here to stay. Tim McIintosh, Nathan McCullum, Neil Broom and Peter McGlashan we’ll see more of. And those old fellas like Brendan McCullum, Daniel Vettori and Ross Taylor are showing the consistency expected of them.

And what about Chris Martin? Remember when he was the fresh faced chain smoker who looked like he came straight to the ground from a Psy-Trance night? He is now the elder statesman of the team at 34!

Summer is officially over: the Indians have gone home, the clocks have gone back, and rugby will do its best to grab our attention again. Its about time the economy got going isn’t it? About time the ‘Gummint’ did something? Said something? Anything ... like issue a budget?

Meeting for a week to come up with a national cycle track idea did not exactly inspire me. Allowing the local government issues of Auckland to dominate everything is just making me suspicious. Line by line reviews of every government budget are making the natives of the Wellington public sector very twitchy; this village had the same Chief for 9 years, and now there’s a new boss in town.

Are we in a recession or a coma?

All change

2009-03-31T10:49:00.017+13:00

Again. Yeah, again, the rules are about to change ... and I still have not got a clue what either set of the ELVs actually set out to do. It is clear that after another, well, not sparkling Six Nations, the brandy swilling throwbacks of the Home Nations are going to come down on the IRB like a ton of bricks.

I think it took well over a year for our teams to cope with the new rules, in fact it was the All Black’s terrible effort against the Wallabies first up last year in Sydney (we lost 34-19) that led us to do away with the hopeless kick and chase. Teams are still struggling to find their feet with new rules that are interpreted differently by each ref.

However, swinging the pendulum full back may just cause more trouble. Clearly the ELVs were rushed into top level comps and Tests too soon (to get them into the 2011 RWC), but all the Northern toss about it being a SANZAR plot to ‘depower’ the North?! Arse. Frightened of English dominance? Maybe in the twelve months following June 2003, but where are you now England? Seventh in the rankings? Its a case of “The Mouse That Roared”. If you do not have the players across the park that possess the athleticism and skills to play adaptive rugby, you can’t simply change the rules. This is the sort of crap kids pull when they are 6 years old.

Consensus has to be reached somehow otherwise North & South will dig in and tear themselves apart ... and that will be caused by the English RFU and the ARU - the two book ends of rugby in terms of on-field style and off-field political shenanigans. I wonder what Argentina is going to be offered for their votes? The Falklands? A Tri nations slot?

Thirteen Years of Super Rugby Reality Check Time:

scrap the Super 14 teams, put our best provincial sides (not franchises) through to an international knockout round against the best Currie Cup sides, and whatever the ARU can organise
let the Pacific islands in, in some form
don’t give Aussie another team just because they are building another stadium (in Melbourne)
the non-qualifying NZ teams could play off for the Ranfurly Shield
the Tri Nations to be played every two years, or replaced, to allow tours that would create an ‘event’ for fans to follow (and overseas fans to attend) and hopefully stop us babysitting weak French or English sides
stop banking on ‘expanding’ the Aussie TV audience for rugby union; it will never happen
stop televising EVERY Air NZ Cup game ... even football in England has worked out this destroys attendance
stop playing the Wallabies every 4 weeks, especially in neutral show-pony venues like Japan and Hong Kong; you are pimping out the All Blacks, and to corporate attendees only
ask the Indians or the BCCI for some money?

A final note, and one that is more positive: I hope Ricki Flutey gets picked for the Lions. It really is a no-brainer on form, but it would be a remarkable achievement for the best performing Kiwi in England.

Paddy Power

2009-03-22T17:07:00.006+13:00

Hats off to Ireland. They got their first Six Nations Grand Slam in 61 years. Hell, that makes our pining for 1987 look easy.

Now its all over for the internationals before the Lions tour to South Africa later this year. Check out this article from The Times, it’s great fun. Its such a treat to get a grasp on how a ‘Rugby Great’ like Jeremy Guscott, and Lord Spincter Jones actually think, or don’t.

The overwhelming flavour of their selections is not exactly peppered with English players, but Guscott actually thinks Wilkinson should be one of the No. 10! Plus Phil Vickery gets mentioned as Captain material, and O'Driscoll would not even get picked for the Test team. Stop it, you guys. My ribs hurt from laughing!

3-0 to the World Champs?

L Plates for the Ref?

2009-03-21T10:57:00.002+13:00

Another frustrating night at a Hurricanes match. Honestly, if I had not gone last night or watched on TV, and then read 5 yellow cards and one red card were handed out, I would think I had missed one hell of a dirty match ... but it was not.

The pedantic Matt Goddard killed it and 'technicalities' resulted in binnings willy nilly from the start. I think the only signal he knew was “incorrect entry at the gate”. He did not police the offside sufficiently, and Fourie du Preez was almost in the Hurricanes backline late in the second half. And as for Bakkies Botha getting rucked a bit when he was blatantly offside ... Eaton gets pinged and now goes to the judiciary.

I missed the Warriors game, for this pseudo rugby display?

It leaves the Bulls at the top surely, and in control now. South African teams are doing better on the road these days, and this (along with the Webb Ellis Trophy) gives SARU power.

I have to wonder about all this talk of rejigging it to a pools based compettion of 15 teams too. So, the New Zealand teams basically play each other, home and away, in NZ and the best teams progress to an international knockout stage?

Sounds like the original Super 10 of the 80s to me. What is the logic of bascially operating a openly two tier domestic system? We might as well crap the bloody Super 14, and let the best Air NZ Cup teams make it through. It may well reinvigorate things by having players play for teams where they come from, and spread the All Blacks around some more - so that fans can actually see them play.

The finals obsession thing seems to be a knee jerk reaction to Northern Hemisphere criticism ... the way they hold the Heineken Cup up as the ultimate. I'll agree, a bit; I loved the HC finals when they came around, but all those teams that qualify come are based in a separate domestic league (Guiness Premiership, Magners League, Top 14 and whatever goes on in Italy).

Both NZ and South Africa have very established domestic competitions they respectively claim to class as sacred and ‘ring fenced’ from the test calendar and Super expansion, but the NZRU has gradually eroded away the old NPC's aura. Q: Who does not have a domestic competition, and in fact scrapped it after only 12 months? A: Australia.

Its claimed that Aussie is the place to grow the game’s audience for Sanzar, but we are really subsidising their game and propping them up. Who really wants to see the All Blacks play the Wallabies four times a year? In Australia, club sport is king, not regional or state teams - league and AFL prove that.

The franchise thing is dull. Make provinces stronger again, and restore the Ranfurly Shield’s status; how long before an All Black never plays in Shield rugby except when he is coming back from injury?

Ah well, its up to the back room boys now. I just hope someone here is strong enough to stand up to John O'Neill, otherwise we will end up following Australia and screwing rugby here.

The Canes were lucky though. Had Steyn got all his kicks, the Bulls could have won by another 15 points. One more loss, and the Hurricanes are out. And fercrissakes, Cooper ... can you please give David Smith a start!

Pimms O‘Clock!!!!

2009-03-16T11:00:00.006+13:00

Well, it looks like the excessive experimentation by Marc Lieveremont has cost the French side and handed them a right royal thrashing at the hands of England. Four tries to nil, 34-5 ... and no sin binnings! All in front of 82,000 Hackett wearing, Pimms swilling, Chariot Singing happy Toffs.

This means England should get third this year now, providing they beat Scotland at Twickers on the final weekend - the thrashing of France gives them a points difference edge over Les Bleus. To be sure, most people will be watching Ireland play Wales in Cardiff, to try and get their Grand Slam win. Hell, I know I would ... if I could afford Sky and find it tucked away on the Rugby Channel.

In the meantime, I have to read the UK press and scour for video clips on Auntie, to watch it. Looked like a cracking winters day, and within minutes England started their (first half) romp, which led to endless punches of the sky and pile ups of unrestrained man love. God, you’d think they’d actually won the World Cup! Again.

Standout player? Looks like that Maori fellow they all said should not don the Red Rose because he is not an Englishman. Today it was Champagne Flutey ... shit, I should write for The Times.

And you’ve gotta love The Times really - I mean, they truly get acknowledge the spirit of this wonderful sport’s multicultural nature ... every time they refer to a black player as ‘dark’.

It’s a Draw

2009-03-12T14:29:00.004+13:00

The RWC 2011 draw is out and can be downloaded from here. Obviously Martin Snedden will be pleased with getting the Buffet Kings of the IRB to agree to 16 venues around New Zealand. This really is great given the provincial spread, and it does fulfill in the NZRU’s pitch of a “stadium of 4 million” ... but have you been to a game lately? Its more like a stadium of 10,000 if you’re lucky.

The best way to fill a rugby game these days is to tell the local Indian community their cricket heroes are playing - the atmosphere on the Indian tour has been lively, good humoured and vocal ... and I can’t wait for the Tests. Has cricket supplanted rugby here? NZC has full coffers, and now our players’ IPL pay packets put them beyond All Blacks for income.

One thing not clear yet is when the games will be played; both Kiwis and visiting fans should be prepared for some very late games. Snedden did admit a while back that to get this many venues he may have to concede on late local kick-off times so that the Pommy fans can get to the pub in their mornings for a Full English and Low Chariot sing-a-long. A shame: real rugby fans will watch whenever (NZers have always had to get up at 3am), all this ‘growing the game’ nonsense doesn’t wash. Its all about the IRB maximising the TV audience and revenue, and hence they came down hard on TVNZ, Sky & TV3 trying to mount a joint bid to broadcast it. The networks may well have been trying to pull a fast one to keep costs down, but it surely is not hard to imagine that this event is possibly beyond the resources of any individual network’s resources? Dunno.

Anyway, Whangarei, North Shore, Rotovegas, H-Town, New Plymouth, Napier, Palmerston North, Nelson and Invergiggle are all getting a slice of the pie and that is cool.

If I was Sneddo though, I’d make sure that he has a few spare balls on the touch line at those Palmy games ... the ‘tea leafing’ locals have form in League Tests.

And in Northern Hemisphere happenings, I’m with Ferdy on this: no Six Nations coverage here in NZ is embarrassing. It remains one of the few free-to-air sporting events on telly in the UK, with the BBC showing all games, so for even TVNZ not to get some sort of highlights basically demonstrates our ‘heads up our arses’ approach to everything that side of the equator. Its England v France this weekend, at Twickers! You won’t see more pomp than that - and I’d love to see big Seb Chabal playing off the back instead of at lock wher Bernie La Porte kept him.

Ah, Britain ... at least when they play, they kick-off in the afternoon. “Pint of Best, thanks luv”.

Getting older ...

2009-03-09T11:23:00.009+13:00

If fans are voting with their feet about Super 14, and rugby in general, because of its blandness and lack of variety ... what’s up with NZ music?

I gotta admit, that since I have been back here, the incessant jazz-skank-dub vein that seems to permeate almost all NZ musical output (and the summer’s festivals) at the moment has struck me as boring and unimaginative. I know reggae has always sold phenomenally well here, and like a lot of Kiwi music lovers, dub & roots does constitute a chunk of my music collection - but is it all we can come up with at the moment?

I read Simon Sweetman’s blog today, and I had to nod a little in agreement. I felt a little vindicated, having been dragged across to West London more than once in the last 3 years for some Black Seeds, Fat Freddy’s, or Pitch Black gig only to be left bored and hating the sheep-like Kiwis who will turn up, pay at least £20 ... and then talk loudly all through the gig.

The pinnacle was seeing the Phoenix Foundation at Islington’s Carling Academy 2 or 3 years ago. Not only were the band pissed, shambolic and disinterested (which is not necessarily ‘un-rock and roll’), but I could not even hear the songs due to blonde sheilas loudly discussing their preferred public transport routes they took to work each day. A shame, as I used to rate those guys - maybe I still do, not sure.

I am having to look for the good Kiwi stuff at the moment, and unfortuantely the continued existence of The Feelers, Elemeno P and Op Shop leaves me cold. It does not help that I live in Wellington, where you are expected to drink short blacks, wear a ‘jazz hat’ and harbour openly a love for epic 5/4 skat workouts. And this month its Wellington Jazz Fest; it’s like being trapped in a room with Howard Moon for a fortnight.

There is clearly loads more Kiwi music around now - on radio, in ads, on telly and up the charts. It is just that this makes my patented Quality Pyramid bigger ... there will be a small, higher class, ultimate peak of artists doing their own thing, but that will be held up by a solid foundation of complete shit. It sounds a bit Darwinian, but in our case the finches are developing tertiary degrees in songwriting.

Where’s the beautiful noise? Where’s the variety? Where’s the originality? (Please don’t answer “Ladyhawke” otherwise I will scream). Where’s all the good music that a recession is supposed to produce? Didn’t Martin Phillips acknowledge that one of the main reasons behind the Dunedin thing was ... the dole? I blame the internet.

Rant over. Got to go and put another CD on - that Salmonella Dub album has finished ...

The Brain Gain

2009-03-04T18:49:00.013+13:00

All this talk of McAlister coming home ... what about me and my un-sports hero ilk? I did not come back to NZ because my lucrative egg ball contract came to an end; I came back to New Zealand because it is my bloody home, because I wanted to be back in the same country as my family, and because when I want to eat fish n chips I want it to be freshly cooked in front of me, by a smiling cook ... not stewed by some hunchbacked illiterate Limey, in oil brought back from Dunkirk, and left for three hours under a sun lamp. Sheesh.

Even The Listener was getting in on the act with its cover story this week - High Flyers. What a load of old arse. If they were such high bloody flyers they would be able to ride things out over there, instead of coming back here like prodigal sons & daughters, attempting to multiply economic activity merely by wafting their Air Points cards across the great unwashed.

Sample of the ‘typical’ Kiwis the Listener says are coming home: a journalist, an IT specialist, a research scientist, a global marketing project manager, and a cardiologist. What about all the call centre workers, accountants, landscape gardeners, lawyers, plumbers, admin staff, marketers, drivers, teachers & nurses? I get that the article is aiming at the so-called best and brightest, but it actually ignores the lesser twinklers, people like... well me.

I have got 15 years experience in the graphics/advertising industry - I’m looking for a job, and finding it bloody hard. I am stoked to be back here, but its going to take me a while to find work. I left a very enjoyable (and safe) job in London to come home, and I knew it would be a lot harder to find work once I got back here - no illusions. I just think that the Listener article should have focussed on common reasons why average Kiwis were coming home, and what their hopes were. Instead it looks like it was done via Facebook asking disparate friends a few Twitterish questions, and the journalist the story opens with never even bloody left the UK! What a twist!

Jesus, you can see why I have The Guardian’s website bookmarked if this is the sort of tosh you have to pay for here.

And if anyone out there knows what a ‘global marketing project manager’ actually does, feel free to let me know. It sounds like the sort of role you would put on your application for The Apprentice ... but then again, I’m looking for a new job.

PS In regards to the bankers & The Crunch though, check Boon out. Ditto.

New IRB Rankings

2009-03-03T16:51:00.006+13:00

It feels like this is turning into an England bashing forum, but I am not making any of this up - rather it illustrates their slide. The new IRB rankings are out, and they have slipped to 8th ... their lowest ever.

Look at the graph below and this charts the four semi-finalists from RWC 2003 (which England won) from straight after the tournament until the end of 2007 (beyond which the IRB website AnalyCon won’t go past).

Besides the Red Rose plummet, it also shows that the pesky Wallabies and Les Bleus are always sniffing around the podium, and that New Zealand is consistently No. 1 in the world... bar for one week every fourth November, eh. Go Adidas!!!!!

For editorial balance I have stuck in South Africa as well - separately, as the chart only dies 4 years at a time. In a way it shows they have come the farthest - could be an interesting Tri Nations.

King Frank

2009-03-02T19:24:00.008+13:00

I’m with Frank Bunce on this one, and he is royalty after all. I think Luke McAlister should play in a New Zealand comp first before being picked for the All Blacks. Despite his obvious class and ability to play 10 and 12, the guy has been playing for Sale Sharks in the England’s Guinness Premiership and I think its fair to say that on day to day basis that league is below the standard of our Super 14 and Air NZ Cup ... certainly it lacks the intensity & pace needed to just let you swan into the Tri Nations. Sorry, but its true; the league may have a more professional structure, based as it is on the private ownership model of Premiership Football, but its dour play and inconsistency are all to visible in England’s style (or lack thereof).

And anyway, the NZRU making special dispensations for its marquee players is an idea that’s already down 0-1 ... look at Carter’s injury. Both he and Lukey went over to ultimately experience Heineken Cup finals rugby; neither of them got there, unlike Byron Kelleher at Toulouse.

It may well be that as Britain’s cash strapped millionaires tighten their belts and lose interest in forking out for minority sports like rugby, so the financial carrot dangling for our players might shrink.

Martin Johnson is also saying he will pick players based in England over those plying their trade in France’s Top 14 (which matches Warren Gatland’s leanings towards Magners League players for Welsh selection), so the days of us losing prime ABs to the Northern Hemisphere may be coming to a close.

Might get a Lotto ticket this week - after all, weekend just gone was a clean sweep: Hurricanes, Black Caps and West Ham won ... that NEVER happens.

What a load of rubbish

2009-03-01T17:36:00.009+13:00

Not my headline at all, but that of the Guardian’s Eddie Butler in review of England’s latest Six Nations effort. It seems they are still flopping around off their feet like the fatties they are, incapable of giving a pass to unleash their “wing three-quarters”, and getting binned quicker than the copy of ‘Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus’ my mum got me for a birthday present five or so years back. They have leaked 30 points so far in the 6N while players were in the bin, and are apparently cheating in blatant fashion. He said it.

Its clear England’s intent has moved beyond 10 man rugby, but 14 seems to be their favourite number this season. The Red Roses’ failure has put the Irish on track to for a Grand Slam title this year (providing they beat Scotland and then Wales), but unlike Wales’ clear dominance of last year’s competition, I am not sure Ireland are head and shoulders above what is an average field. If Wales are indeed in a slump, then it may indeed be a hard task for McGeecan to get the Lions up to threaten with the Springboks later this year - though I can’t wait for that tour.

Meanwhile here ... the Canes ‘A Team’ pulled off the Big One down against the Soldiers of Christendom, I mean the Crusaders. Nonu back on form apparently. I’ll admit I was at the T20 game between India and NZ in Wellington, so I only saw the rugby on bar visits, but the nods of the blokes inside the lounge seemd to indicate a much improved performance, and many “toldyasos” about Weepu at 10.

Though now aren’t we chasing Lukey’s signature again? Been there before though; his Dad said no, and we ended up with Spongbob Squarepants at first five for two seasons.

At least it has put their season back on track, barring any train wrecks on the road in South Africa.

Still, I‘m a bit more into the Indian cricket tour at the moment, the Rockstars as they call them. Loved the way our bowlers restricted an incredible batting line up to such a moderate score, and despite the hiccups, our boys swung the willow at the right time.

It is great that our pitches are more conducive to good cricket now, and we are not relying on those green monstrosities that were producing 15 wickets a day on the last tour by India. We have to compete with the ‘Rockstars’, even if our new load of Young Guns are still a bit pub rock.

Be back the Caketin for the ODI this week. Mmmm, overpriced, warm, plastic-tasting beer.

Home again.

2009-02-22T13:48:00.010+13:00

Back in Nu Zild, escaping the Credit Crunch for now ... maybe if things get worse we can just get Ben to “move the island”?

But due to relocation costs back from the UK, a Sky subscription is a long way off for my house so I have been unwillingly weened off telly sports; no Premiership (ironic considering I can see more live games here in NZ), no re-fed Channel 9 cricket (I’m loving Radio Sport’s ABC feed though), and no Super 12 ... sorry, old habits ... Super 14 en mi casa either. How do I cope? Easy. I am one of the handful of chumps to renew their Cake Tin season passes again.

I kept these cursed things the whole time I was in the UK. Through a mix of friends using them and reimbursing me, and then giving other games or entire seasons out to family, I have retained a spiritual presence in Aisle 14, but going for the first two rounds this year I am questioning it. I believe the initial season pass sales broke the 15,000 barrier in the early Noughties; this year it has fallen to about seven thousand? Pathetic.

We used to have ‘buddies’ sitting next to us in the near capacity crowds back in 2001-2003 ... the same punters who turned up every week to watch the Canes, and to put up with relentless barricking from my Waikato mate when we played the Chiefs or the pure Mooloo Bell Ringing Lunatics in the NPC. Now they are gone and I am surrounded by a sea of empty yellow plastic, and the vista across the stadium is no better. Plus some Random Fat Bloke (RFB) has taken a liking to my seat the last two weeks and I reckon he may be some sort of porky jinx - not a problem when there is no shortage of seats, but its the priniciple. Bleedin’ liberties.

Hurricanes? Well, its like watching an episode of The Office or Curb Your Enthusiasm these days - I do it with hands raised to my face, occasionally fanning my fingers apart and peering sheepishly through gaps. The Warratahs game was, frankly, cack and last Friday night just as bad except for the fact they somehow won it in the 35th minute or something. Nuts. How the hell all these pundits were putting the Hurricanes down as favourites for 2009 is beyond me. There is no on field leadership there, and against the Highlanders they looked rudderless for long periods again. Crusaders next week - Ouch. If they make the playoffs, hell will be a very cool place ... and Vietch will be fronting an ad campaign for Womens Refuge; he could take his mate Deaker door to door.

I am honest enough to be clear on one thing though: I am keeping my season passes through to any clear entitlement that gets me 2011 World Cup tickets. That’s really why I will keep turning up .. I mean, I love going, but this year there is no benefit to having a season ticket. You can turn up 15 mins before kick-off and sit anywhere you please. Its all very well for Wellington Rugby to say they look at providing value for their loyal season ticket holders, and that they look to survey those members every year, but I have NEVER been asked my opinion or offered any sort of special deals or upgrades despite forking out thousands of dollars (more fool me!) over the last 8 years.

I’ll be there every week though - torturing yourself through team support is all part of it. Why back Man U when can I suffer as a West Ham fan? Why back the Ngati One-Eyes in red and black, when a bunch of (mainly) local kids can deplete my pleasure receptors every week or so?

Hopefully things will pick up, but the rugby is anything but ‘super’ at the moment. Its as faded and saggy as Captain Hurricane’s flight suit. Maybe we all need a bit of what Matt Stevens is on?

Nil Point!

2008-08-19T06:42:00.008+12:00

I was not convinced we would win this one. I knew it would be close, but not which way it might go depending on refs and interpretation of the breakdown. All Blacks v Springboks games in South Africa are the Big Day Out games for AB fans here in the UK - afternoon kick-off and only an hour time difference. It usually means an annual pilgrimage to the Walkabout to bait our Jaapie Brethren, the hordes that inevitably outnumber even the ubiquitous ex-pat Kiwis in London, but this year it did not happen.

It felt like all my mates wanted to watch it apart. Each in a dark room. Alone ... just in case things went pear-shaped again. Personally, I had been to the Ikea in Tottenham Hale before the game, so I figured if I could survive that hell-hole, take that bullet for the team, then I could sit at home on my own couch with a pint and finally get some use out of my over-priced Sky Uk subscription.

Besides, I like Guinness - and chances are, waiting for a poured pint of Black Magic at the Walkie on Saturday would have been agony - like an English winger waiting for the ball.

So Carter is only human? He still recovered and kicked us well territorially. I am liking what I see now of the game plan adapting to the ELVs - we seem to have a few more options if things don’t work. Our 6,7 and 8 were tireless, we absolutely killed them in the breakdown and McCaw was everywhere ... sublime. And I enjoyed the spark Piri Weepu added when he came on. It seems Henry likes to keep him on the bench, fizzing ... then he revels in an appearance.

Maybe a reactive win than a full tilt blinding performance. We did score two great tries (and an opportunistic lurking Hooker score), but it was the huge, shuffling defensive effort that kept the Boks out. And it was great to not see too much high percentage, crazy stuff again.

One concern though: Can anyone remind when was the last time an All Black wing scored a try this year? It seems like forever. Where is Joe?

And so to the UK press. My favourite part of the weekend, when I see what the English scribes have been up to, or what planet they are on:

Lord Sphincter is up to his old tricks - I mean, I myself sometimes get signal interference on Sky in the heavy rain, but what channel is this guy actually watching!? The All Blacks were ‘nothing special’ and DC merely a ‘serviceable player’. Stop it, Steve-O ... my sides are aching. Besides, the last way an All Black would want to appear to an English fan is ‘serviceable’ - he might well end up in a hotel room getting ‘serviced’.

The Indy had Richie down as ‘giving the greatest displays in rugby history’. They also had a little preview of the game on Friday by the shabbily treated Brian Ashton - read between the lines and I think you see a guy very much in favour of the ELVs.

Aunty has us as ‘edging’ the Boks. 19-0? That’s a thicker edge than Brendan McCullum has ever swished his way to.

Good old Guardian lefties got a favourable report too, indeed the tone echoed Sky’s post match opinion of NZ rugby: “Crisis? What crisis?” Does this mean all rugby pundits here in the UK have a thing for Supertramp?

Congrats to Percy Montgomery too. He could not produce the fairytale 100th cap, but hell, 100 tests for South Africa? Pretty amazing when you think about the politics of their game. And they had a minute’s silence pre game for a recently departed Bok, who played a mere 4 tests for his country. Percy should get the back of a coin or bank note surely.

But maybe the best performance, the one that should be cherished the most for possibly saving the game for NZ game (or at least preserved our lead) ... it should go to the demonised Wayne Barnes for eyeing up Brian Habana’s trotter as it dabbed the chalk when he seemed to break free for a try. Mr Barnes can’t quite expect a lifetime of upgrades on Air NZ just yet, and I still can’t totally let go of his Cardiff effort last year, but well ... he was on the job.

80 minutes of the real season left. Off to Brisbane to beat the Wallabies. Hopefully, eh.

A Week is a long tme ...

2008-08-02T23:14:00.005+12:00

Watching Sky UK this morning, it seemed Zinny Brooke could hardly contain himself . He had ants in his pants, and I think I was the same.

Naturally being over here too means I can avoid the nastiest and utterly stupid rantings of some so-called NZ sports ‘writers’, but I still picked up on the undercurrent of derision that seems to permanently float so near the surface of All Black support these days, and it is embarrassing.

Yes, they did suck last week, and yes, certain players have convincingly played themselves out of the 22 ... even the 30. The coaches also got it horribly wrong to the point where the NZRFU HR Dept was feeling the heat, and we got hijacked in an ELV frenzy.

The All Blacks have lost crucially experienced players and are rebuilding. If Deans had been given the reigns, would it be any different two games in? I doubt it. In a choice between a complete clean out or continuity, I know what I would choose given a pretty successful 3-4 years ... bar (massive) the Cardiff blip.

Well done All Blacks. Some awesome individual efforts there, and so much attitude was brought today with the forwards committing and blowing out Wallabies everywhere. Keep it up, and please improve even more.

I don’t see why how the way the game was played today can’t a blueprint moving forward. We exhibited all our usual speed, width and quick hands, but it was tempered with a lot more control and a consideration of options, often followed by the correct strategic choice; Carter kicked much better tonight, and steadied us with territorial gains nicely. Plus the scrum was used more and (quelle horreur!) we attacked the Wallaby lineout with great effect.

I think the game in Sydney was turned into a shocking showcase for the ELVs in Test rugby - it was scrag, and that playsed into the hands of ‘footy’ style Australia. Eden Park was a game of rugby, and a thrilling 60 minutes.

We still have to dominate the other 20 minutes though to deserve the reputation of invincibility we so willingly apply to our beloved All Blacks. Less football-like 5 minute subs please!

And Manawatu beat Canterbury as well! First time since when, 1982 or something. Done in style too, hoaxing the touch judges into not awarding the final penalty that would have given it to the red and blacks. The greatest trick pulled by the green and whites since our ‘ball up the jumper’ ploy back in the Ranfurly Shield glory days of the late 70s.

GO, GO, MANAWATU!!!

RFU recommends further Twickenham expansion

2007-10-26T02:44:00.001+13:00

Well, they had their jokes at our expense.
Tee hee hee, Fi

Mercy Buckets, France!

2007-10-25T22:27:00.000+13:00

Simply put, France were fantastic hosts. Marseille, Aix-en-Provence, Lyon, Toulouse all put on such a good atmosphere during the pool stages of the tournament. Fans from all countries mixed easily the whole time; people in shops, bars, cafes and hotels all welcomed us warmly. I am not taking anything away from Cardiff and Edinburgh, but they are what Crazy Don Rumsfeld calls ‘known knowns’ - though they were hilariously good fun, the ‘foreign field’ aspect of travelling around the south of France made for a memorable holiday. Sunny too, eh.

There was no animosity or arrogance projected between fans, no sore losing on our part that we saw - whether on the streets or in the stands. This only exists in the column inches of British newspapers.

Half an hour after the Cardiff loss (and a couple of tequilas) we were talking and laughing with French fans at the pub. And on the final weekend, French fans were still coming up to New Zealand fans, almost apologising for not going ‘all the way’, and saying the All Blacks remained the best team. That is cameraderie. Until next time, mon amis!

I seem to remember a lot of media opinions saying in 2003 that Australia had just hosted the best ever Cup, and they did take it to a new level on the back of their experience with the 2000 Olympics, but similar plaudits are now being offered up to the French.

I can’t wait until 2011, when I get the chance to welcome visiting rugger fans to our country. On reflection, here are my highlights:

Best Game: NZ v Portugal in Lyon.
Sunny day with a mental crowd cheering on both sides, especially the Portuguese. Amazing football-like atmosphere that went beserk when Portugal scored. Followed by Aussie v Wales in a nearby garden bar with loopy, dancing Portuguese fans.

Favourite Town: Aix-en-Provence.
Not a venue as such, but our base (and the All Blacks’) for Marseille). Pretty fine town, great wine & food including the best pie-cart pizza - Le Royale was our poison. Told Keith Robinson about it ... so it may have been our fault if he looked weighed down. Sorry.

Best stadium: Toulouse
Walking distance from town, and on in island in the river. Not a huge stadium, but intimate and intense with a very knowledgeable crowd of locals, and our seats were so close we could hear the tackles. Halfway there was a Cup Village of bars & bid TVs to watch other matches.

Best All Black
A tough one this, but I’ll pick Dougie Howlett. Thought he was essential for the game against France, and his work rate had been awesome against Scotland - he was ball hungry. He will be missed. Big ups to Alastair Williams, Jeremy Collins and Nicholas Evans too. Richie - no need to comment ... always class, they are changing the rules to cope with you, dude.

Best Player of The Rest
Hard to pick just one: Jason Robinson for his dancin’ feet and sheer guts - a class act. Nicky Little for that Fiji v Wales effort. Victor Matfield, awesome lock, and Simon Shaw too. Hernandez for adding a little Carlos to it all. Kid Steyn - he has ‘X’.

Best Game (that I saw)
Wales v Fiji. We watched it in Toulouse, at a bar by the river after NZ v Romania, and it was one of the best days of the whole trip. Awesome festival atmosphere, and one of the best games I have ever seen ... through bleary eyes, natch.

Moment of Doom
Forget the forward pass. The advantage Barnes gave us against France in the last minutes; Lukey took a pot shot, and the advantage vanished ... but a new scrum or penalty may have won it for us.

Best try (that I saw)
Kosuke Endo’s try for Japan against Wales. TV showed he tracked 110 metres before he touched down. Talk about sweeping, length of the field stuff.

Best Thing about being there
The atmosphere, the crazy bands in the stands (get them for 2011!) and the PA playing that loopy little bugle tune at every restart, followed by the crowd screaming ‘Ole’ or ‘Allez’. Beats all that loud ZM/FM pants music we get at Super 14 in Wellington. I hate Blur’s ‘Song 2’ so much these days.

Best Anthem
Argentina - who else would have a 30-40 second overture or intro before the actual singing. Tear jerking stuff, apparently.

Best Strip
Duh ... All Blacks. The worst was our ‘away’ silver abomination. Flick Adidas, they have done nothing for us. BRING BACK CANTERBURY!

I could go on, but I won’t. Time to get back to life.

See you in Aotearoa in 2011.
Lu

Le Grand Final

2007-10-23T05:53:00.000+13:00

Not exactly a classic was it? There was more nervousness on show than genuine tension, and in the end I thought South Africa managed to play more like England, than England. There was no shape to either back line, and forwards just hung off, never committing to anything - they all looked a bit rudderless. It was probably the most boring final I have watched, and hopefully it draws a line under the whole ‘The best defence is a truck load of defence’ style. It was another game where only a couple of players on each team would get more than 7/10 for their performances. Viktor was a true victor though.

South Africa have though capped off an impressive year, what may be the end of an era usher in if ‘transformation’ really kicks in. At least Jake White can produce a World Cup as an argument for the government not being too radical or going as far as that being the last time we see a team called the Springboks at a World Cup. One thing I enjoyed about ITV's coverage (just one, mind) was Francois Pienaar’s input; he was passionate, yet succinct, unbiased (on camera) and informative. I bet he is happy.

John Smit also impressed me after the full-time whistle. No sky-punching, screaming histrionics from him - he just stood still, taking it all in with a look of pure satisfaction on his face, right up until he got the Cup in his hand. Dignity personified?

England: Great run though it was, they just did not play enough rugby to win a World Cup. Sheer pluckiness, personal messages from Kenny Rogers and a phenomenal left boot alone could not do it. The line out failed, the kicking game failed, and the back line again looked pedestrian at best. In the end it was a mighty title defence that fell at the last hurdle.

The call on the disallowed Cueto ‘try’ by the TMO (sorry, the ‘Australian TMO’ as they call him up here in t’North) was right. With a sniff of touch involved it was never going to go England’s way and he had plenty of looks at it; had it been merely a grounding issue I think they may have got it. It was a great break by Tait began that move, and he is one of the shining lights for England, a player they rightly have talked up for two years, and with more like him on the books, its time for a Young Guns team building to 2011. Let Vickery rest, and sell Dallaglio to an Indian breakers yard.

The player power that supposedly got them to the final could not win it, and it will not rebuild them - they must look to 2011 now, and not blow it again like they did after 2003 ... if they can sort the club v country situation out. England have the raw materials to truly dominate the sport, at least in the Northern Hemisphere if not the world, and like it or not rugby and the World Cup need a strong England. The Six Nations will be a true test of whether anything from the tournament sticks ... then of course the two tests in New Zealand next year [sound of licking chops].

The final was totally inferior to the France v Argentina game the night before. Obviously there was not a World Championship riding on that game, and less pressure helped it as a contest, but Argentina were superb, from 1 through to 15 playing an aggressive, open game that went against their previous tactical nouse and simply left Les Bleus stunned. I thought that Honiss and his two touchies showed a lot of restraint in the first 40 minutes, and by not over-reacting with cards they allowed the match to be an 80 minute contest. Old and young, the Pumas have some real stars & match winners, moulded by the professional careers in France.

It was a grand final in only one way - loads of previously disgruntled Kiwis got in excess of 1,000 pounds/euros each for their final tickets. Cue more currency flowing in, inflationary pressure ... now the ABs are to blame for the housing boom!

With a podium finish the Argentinians really must be admitted into some form of expanded Tri-Nations, or a new tournament between World Cups, along with more big games for the Pacific teams. More tests is not simply the answer; quality or at least meaningful games must reign over straight quantity but despite all the accusations of the NZRU behaving like a brutal plantation owner towards Polynesia, the biggest hurdle to genuinely freeing up Test rugby between World Cups remains the British and French clubs' obsession with the football model of squads, ownership, salaries and player release. Until there is a professional league in Argentina though, how can this move forward? There is nothing for the French based players to come home to, and indeed their coach and star No. 10 may both well be at Leicester next season. Fancy a Balti?

Lord Sphincter cut loose another series of insane utterances over the weekend. I think we should actually take any dig at the All Blacks or New Zealanders as a compliment now. Given the fact that we went out two rounds ago, and never even played Mighty England, it really is a measure of this bitter Welshman’s paranoia about our superiority that he rants about it constantly. Was he bullied when he visited Palmerston North with the Lions in 2005? Keep it up, Jonesy, you and the rest of your chums at The Times make me laugh. They are human though, I mean look at their pre-tourny picks ... but calling Paul Sackey a ‘dark diamond’? Well, isn't that the sort of Colonial Overlord attitude the ANC are trying to stamp out in South Africa?

These arrogant, parochial, Empire-obsessed snobs have already written off 2011, 48 hours after the 2007 final. New Zealand is now being accused of being some third world backwater that will billet teams & visitors in tents, and is manipulating the IRB into cutting the teams to 16, introducing a round-robin format, and changing the laws to ensure we win. Where do they get this shite from?!

Been interesting readin gwriter’s World Cup XVs, and you have to agree that no All Blacks is probably the right call. Our stars dimmed with two rounds to go, and anyone who did play out of their skins (namely Williams & Howlett) just don’t deserve to be ahead of the French, Argentinian, South African players. A lot of by the English press put Wilkinson & Robinson in, but I think that’s sentimentality.

And as a player leaving NZ (for Toulouse), and safe from recrimination, Byron Kelleher has seen fit to break silence a bit on our quarter final loss and squad rotation.

The new laws, the EVLs, look certain for Super 14 next year, but how long before Test rugby adopts them is unknown. Naturally we in New Zealand prefer the open rugby that the All Blacks specialise in, but we have seen once more in 2007 that it does not win World Cups. Rugby is an international (not global) sport, and that geographical spread does produce different styles (and disagreement over their respective merits), but variety is good and everyone has to adapt to win the thing. Are the new rules going to be just crowd pleasing effort to homogenise the very parts of the game that bred the variety? Or will they benefit the game truly?

If rules and their interpretation are not clear, clarify them. Don’t change for change sakes. This may well worsen the North/South political gap at the IRB buffet.

Whoah. Too long - round up of our Cup highlights to follow soon, as our sign off. Is anyone still reading? Well, it gives me something to do at work ... when I am not busy I mean.

Laterz

I Know Jonny’s got good range, but ...

2007-10-20T03:37:00.000+13:00

This morning saw this appear on a plinth in Trafalgar Square. You could say people in the UK are waking up to the fact there is a big game of rubgy on tomorrow night, especially after their million pound boys choked. ... er, I mean, lost the Euro qualifier against Russia on Wednesday. Rugby is starting to dominate the media like never before. Well, not since 2003 anyway. Two weeks ago you had to come in about 7 or pages from the back to find any rugby in most papers, now the bandwagon is rolling on merrily.

Anyone checked whether the deposit on the open top bus in refundable?

Is it wrong for me to bacl South Africa solely for Southern Hemisphere reasons? Why is my anti-England stance seen as ungracious by my workmates or friends here? I back them in football - until the inevitable slip-up - but not in rugby. I mean, I did cheer them on against France in the Six Nations ... I want, and like, to see them play good, attacking rugby, which they are capable of. If they win it, they have to win it in style ... not just off Jonny’s boot. Fat chance according to Spiro Zavos.

I just hope it is a cracker of a game; tense, hard up front and explosive in the backs without whistle deciding the engraver’s job. It’s a cliché, but a ‘game of two halves’ would be great, seeing the teams adjust to each other’s styles, maybe counter-adjusting. Then the term World Champion will be deserved.

But meanwhile, back in 5th place ... The Guardian has a dig at us still obsessing over Wayne Barnes here. Considering what they source is almost word for word what they themselves published the day before, it serves no purpose. And what is The New Zealander? Are they making up media outlets now? I have never heard of that paper / website.

Reckon Planet Rugby got out of bed on the Northern side too with this line:

Just two weeks after they bowed out of the World Cup the All Blacks are faced with the prospect of losing the only thing that justifies their claim as the best rugby team in the world, the number one spot on the official International Rugby Board (IRB) rankings.

What do they mean “the only thing”? I mean its not like we got to the No. 1 spot a fortnight before the tournament started; we’ve been there for most of the preceeding four years, and we’ll be back there come June next year. If we played anyone tomorrow I reckon we would win. Of course it is a major dent in our pride that we did not convert that form into the Webb Ellis Cup - again - but most people know that we are consistently the best team, and rugby fans around the world will still come to see the All Blacks play because of it. At this tournament, we were the only team that played attacking rugby, game in, game out, so ask yourself, ‘Would you really be happy if NZ won the the Cup by playing like the All Blacks, or like England?’. Brazil’s soccer stars were not popular at home when they won the Football World Cup in 1994, in the US ... they were criticised for a playing boring, un-Brazilian, non-Samba style game.

Its a World Cup thing. Are Italy the best football team in the world?

New Zealand are the Brazil of rugby, so why should we change our natural game just to win a pissy small mug with a pineapple on the lid? Keep it up I say - but at least practice drop goals more, eh.

Oh, come on the Lions as well in the Air New Zealand Cup final tonight, or early Saturday morning UK time. Hopefully with Steve Walsh out of the country we can get our hands our hands on a prize again. And which will be bigger ? ... the crowd or John Banks’ ego, I mean ... majority.

Laterz

Spin Cycle

2007-10-17T05:47:00.001+13:00

Now, I prefer not to read The Times, in fact I try to avoid it even in an ablutions emergency, but at lunch on Sunday at a very nice Wandsworth boozer (for Ras’ birthday) it was sitting in front of me. What a pile of vicious, scurrilous, unilateral bile it was. How do they get off printing the deranged ramblings of bitter old fools like Alastair Campbell & that Welsh-born, English RFU sycophant S Jones. These two spout crap like media accredited Lord Haw Haws). Why does a mainstream broadsheet feel it needs to deal in this dross? Real rugby fans pay for their tickets, not like these lesser sorts. They have such an incredible chip on their shoulders about the All Blacks that they get given a double spread to utter forth about New Zealand - six days after beating Australia, then France!? They have not even played us this year (in fact they have not played us at a World Cup since 1995).

They may well end up the only World Champs with an inferiority complex. Again.

Campbell, you may remember him from previous invasions such as “45 Minutes From Whitehall”, is now a freelance Rent-a-Quote for Anything over here in the UK, and is an expert in offering his five quid's worth, even on any sport it seems. In the 2005 Fifa World Cup, last years Ashes, and now the 2007 Rugby World Cup he pops up constantly to give his ‘spin’ on things. However, as I believe Graham Henry said during 2005 Lions Tour, something along the lines of Campbell having no understanding of, and no affinity for, the game of rugby. Back in your hole.

Mind you, so much of the media in this event is not even about the actual games. It’s opinion and anything but accurate reportage - from all nations. Even this assemblage of bits and pixels is only the opinion of an ex-hockey player.

I do not really even get how the arrogant label can be applied to us? I honestly do not remember any All Blacks or any of their coaches displaying this arrogance we are tagged with; we do not berate other teams, players or administrators as a habit. Quiet confidence, no matter how misplaced it has now proven to be, is a completely different thing, and when English rugby basically consists of 30-odd plucky blokes, with the rest of the game’s structure still structurally and politically weak, these hacks should really pull their heads in.

I think they will find enough plaudits coming from genuine rugby fans for the Poms, especially the players that are genuinely world class, but when these hacks slag every one else off despite - against all odds - actually getting the chance to defend their World Championship you have to wonder what energy source or arcane power they use to travel between our dimension and theirs.

Henry seems to be getting more support - and vote for Project Ted at ruggerblogger.

Bernie the Door comes clean about his unspoken love for the All Blacks.

England v South Africa - no one predicted that. I mean, I think a lot of people did tout the Springboks as finalists, a long time ago ... and to be fair it actually caps off a fairly solid year for South Africa. This is why I do not bet on rugby - nothing I predict ever comes off. I should just shut up now, and shift the focus of this whole blog to something else.

Good luck to both teams. I suppose one positive is that we may see two teams, at least start, with different styles of rugby.

My wishes for the World Cup Final on Saturday night:
- Will Greenwood’s mic fails on ITV ... for 80 minutes
- Nelson Mandela leaves Prince Harry hangin’ at a high five attempt
- Laurence Dallaglio is ignored for post match comment
- We get to see some tries, you know, those five pointy things
- If England win, Tama Iti’s guerillas set off to Twickenham to steal the Cup for us all.

It gets worse

2007-10-15T00:07:00.001+13:00

If the week just gone by was hard to bear as a Kiwi living in London, then things now are going to be worse ... and come next Sunday we may simply go into hiding.

Fi and I came clearly off the fence yesterday. We picked France because they beat us, but last night we found ourselves at a friend’s birthday out in E16, surrounded in enemy territory, and the natives were waving their plastic St George flags and inflatable hammers in our faces - jingoistic tat left over from when they last dipped out in whatever football tournament they were in. I tell you, there is nothing worse than condescending sympathy from a Pom who could not probably name 4 people in their own team. I bit my tongue and muttered into my Feijoa vodka.

Boring, boring Arsenal ... I mean England; they’ve done it again. Their play is ugly, it’s mostly one dimensional, it is so far from 15 man rugby it hurts, and most of those players probably put in only solid, 6/10 performances ... but cumulatively it was an effective tournament style again (their only style) and found themselves in the final. Well done. (Teeth grinding)

Was it simply last week replayed? With France as us, and England grinding them down? I thought so. Wilko was such a trooper, and Jason Robinson is also a huge talisman for them, but take away Traille’s brain explosion that allowed Lewsey to fall over for a try after 80 seconds (with condescending head pat too) and it was all boot. That’s enough to win tight games I suppose, but I maintain England are still too slow when throttle is needed, rudderless in the backs and just plain terrified of width - if Argentina get past the Springboks tonight (a game I will watch, but can’t predict) then Contepomi and Hernandez may well drill them all over the pitch.

Tickets for next week? Oh, those puppies are worth a fortune now. My Mum went last night, but is selling her final tickets. As England scrap their way to another game, all the City Boys and part-time fans are seeping out the Clive Woodwork ... these sorts will not hesitate to pay £2,000, hell, £5,000 simply because they can, and want to relive Agincourt even if they have to charter a jet. Tosseurs ... but nice of them to beef up the retirement funds of Kiwis.

I have heard mutterings that a lot of people in NZ want Graham Henry to stay on - and why not. I think that would show a lot of maturity by us, and since the guy only lost something like 7 out of 48 games he deserves to have another crack with maybe a rejigged team under him. He was possibly 2 minutes from redemption in Cardiff.

Sigh. Have to leave the house now, and walk out in to the ‘Newest Rugby Nation in the World’. At least we live in E1 ... the locals round here don’t focus on rugby too much.

Now am I right in thinking, that because France lost last night, they failed to overtake us in the rankings, so unless SA win, England and Argentina can’t move high enough to pip us either. We’d stay the number one team in the world? Crazy.

Life (and the Tournament) Goes On

2007-10-12T06:01:00.001+13:00

There is a lot of rugby left still, and I want to watch it now. After the weekend I thought I would just pass on the remaining games, but why should I? Doesn’t logic dictate that I should now follow France, the team that dared to beat us? Surely it would stroke our egos just that little bit to have the team that beat us go all the way to lift the trophy? Clearly Fi and I would liked to have gone to Paris this weekend, and in fact we have Eurostar tickets and hotels booked ... but without the All Blacks playing it seemed pointless. We’ll take the ticket refund, stick the telly on here in London come Saturday night and probably see a good game. France v England ... who in the world could be more pumped up than these two teams now?

And who deserves it most? Do the poll to the right - if nothing else it’ll be interesting to see if anyone besides our Mum & Dads are reading.

Will the French be content to cat and mouse it again, waiting for cracks? Will the resurgent Men of St George come a cropper against a pack that can actually scrum? Sheridan has been canonised again this week by the UK media; will it last? Surely some interesting head to heads though: Elissalde v Gormasall, Sea Bass v Simon Shaw, Jonny v Beauxis, Betsen & Dusautoir v Moody, Regan v Ibanez. It could be a great game, though I think England have already won their World Cup. Sigh.

Poor Doug Howlett! Looks like expensive French pop might have got to him and the others here in London into a bit of trouble. Either that or he freaked out at the bill for his room. Trust me, even though the Hilton Heathrow does not sound flash, that place (like all UK hotels) is not cheap, but £12,500 on the bar! Picture Sione Luaki asking the barman repeatedly for a “Quick F*ck”. These guys get so much free Steinlager they have no idea what a drink actually costs. Who signed for that tab? Red Card yourself, lads. There must be some cracking CCTV footage floating round though. At least Dougie could have attacked a French car? I feel a new ad campaign and Peugot endorsement package for Doug coming on ...

I think with what I have read in the last few days that we are all calming down about the early exit. There has been humour, reflection ... and even strategic planning, like this from The Dropkicks via Some Foreign Field. I love the idea. We need the Pumas NOW, and with all the excitement being generated in Argentina over the rugby, I am sure Argentinians would love to see their team play at home - not in Spain like UK media keep banging on about. Even Syd Millar says there is no room in the 6N for them. Will someone at SANZAR or Thorndon Quay get planning this straight away, so we are ready in 2010 when the current TV BS deal ends. Does anyone know if Murdoch has a presence in Argentina? That may affect News Corp’s enthusiasm for letting the Pumas in.

Can’t remember where I read it, but someone, somewhere suggested making all end of year tour games into qualifiers, or somehow integral to establishing seedings for future World Cups, so that the resulting pools are more balanced (noticed how all semi-finalist came from just two pools i.e. not ours or Australia’s?). The logic is that countries would not send weak squads away because it could affect their World Cup seeding. It has merit.

And while we are on the subject of revolutionising rugby, how about a revolutionary who played it: Che Guevara

But in the big picture, what does it all mean? It took me a few days to pick up a paper again here, and then a couple more before I returned to reading the front pages first ... and then I started reconnecting with the real world. Puts it in perspective, huh?

Other news:

As well as being arrogant and sore losers, Kiwis can’t sit still for 80 minutes
Zinny is not happy
The Football Ferns are now world class

Maybe we’ll find time to talk about the Springboks v Las Pumas tomorrow - personally I’d back the Argetinians - they showed a lot o’ spunk, and their football skills at time outshine their rugby skills in the loose. They can toe ahead a ball so well, they don’t need forward passes from hands ... let it go.

Allez Les Bleus (harrumph)
Lu

Words of Wisdom from Ted

2007-10-10T21:30:00.000+13:00

“Part of our dignity and part of our composure and part of our ability to do it on the world stage and be respected is to make sure that we don't bitch and moan,"

“This country needs to acknowledge the strength of the opposition and the way they played otherwise it will be seen as sour grapes.”

The High is so High, the Low is so Low

2007-10-09T00:08:00.000+13:00

Walking to work this morning I had to skip through a load of depressing Weezer and Goldfrapp songs on my iPod before settling on the Headless Chickens. The lyrics to Donde Esta la Pollo pretty much sum up how I'm feeling!

Lu and I were both pretty homesick this morning, lets just say there was no hurry to get to work and face the music (Swing Low....) . There aren't even any Aussies on my floor to commiserate with, although there is one rogue Scot! Really missing the process of shared mourning and discussion and (to quote Lu) 'self-flagellation on a national scale'. Love how Anton Oliver offers us a cup of tea with the ABs in no-mans land (what a poet), cos the first thing we did when we got back to the hotel was make a cup of tea, despite a day at the pub!

I really thought we were going to do it, right up to the last 5 minutes. ruggerblogger and Some Foreign Field have really summed it up (as well as Lu below), so I won't go on... It would better not to have shelled out £8 for the commentary radios as they just added to our anger at the reffing decisions (and lack of).
You can put in your 2 cents in at Scrumbag and express your opinion of where it all went wrong.

We had an amazing time at the 5 games we went to. We had a great holiday and it was a fantastic experience. We really loved the French hospitality and bantering with people from all over the world, getting to see our heroes play some stunning rugby.

Thanks to everyone who's put up with us rabbiting on about rugby, hung out with us in France, Scotland and Wales and travelled with us over the past 6 weeks. Thanks to Richie and the boys.... all the best to those moving on and those sticking around. Maybe its a 24-year cycle (oh I feel so old!).

On a positive note, the Kiwi spirit is bouncing back already, with 10 reasons why the loss ain't all bad

Last word - the ABs are still the best looking team in the world, and no-one can take that away!

Buggeur!

2007-10-08T08:26:00.001+13:00

A nod to Griff’s message that, and it sums it up really. Now 24 hours has passed, I have calmed down since wanting to put a foot through one of Millenium Stadium’s plethora of urinals, and I think I can shrug the shoulders and move on. Hell, aren’t we getting used to this?

It started to become obvious with 25 mins left - that nagging, sinking feeling that the pendulum had swung, and the game was slipping from the All Blacks. France showed a lot of heart, they were backed by incredibly vocal support all night.

Where did they get all the tickets? Who thought 70,000 people would turn up to watch a game of force back?

Again we had great seats - we could see Rodney’s dreads strain as the French forwards were pulling them on the deck. And we were close enough that we all saw Michalak’s forward pass (even Francois Pelous’ Mere, Pere & Wife who were next to us) right in front of us, but no one with a whistle or a flag did. That was the nail in the coffin, or Henry’s wrong rub of the green. Fact is, we came up short (no Plan B ... again?), and it could have just as easily happened in the semi or the final had we got through. I think we got strangled more than us choking.

Add to that, the disappearing act of the advantage the ref gave us when it looked to me the French had slapped down the ball in front of the posts in the dying seconds and ... well, here I go again. C’est la vie.

We had an awesome time at the games we got to; the game against in Portugal in Lyon was a great day out (please keep it at 20 teams and respect the minnows), and Toulouse was also a joy. I actually wish that all our games were in France as Edinburgh and Cardiff just felt less carnivallike, or maybe just a little too familiar. Probably all the wasted New Zealanders - it went from carnival to just plain Carnage.

I just feel sorry for all the people coming over from NZ on tours now (my Mum included) who won’t be watching their own team now .... scalp the tickets! If there is a silver lining, its a cash one for us, as our package guarantees us a refund of the semi final we did not make. So, voila ... Xmas in Morocco is paid for.

Hope the Argies go through now against Scotland. And I hope that France have enough in the tank to fight off a revitalised England ... i.e. I want someone to win it for their first time.

Thanks France. Thanks Ted, Steve & Wayne ... thanks ABs. And good luck the outbound ABs: Chris Jack, Aaron Mauger, Luke McAlister, Anton Oliver, Carl Hayman, Byron Kelleher ... did I forget anyone? There’s so many. Oh, Dougie Howlett ... why were you not on the field?

By next August we’ll be No. 1 again, so why is this thing such a ‘Holy Grail’? We do bette rwhen we are underdogs.

Doesn’t it suck there was not a World Cup in 2005?

Fi ... time to step up and post, lass.

I’m off the fence ...

2007-10-05T21:42:00.000+13:00

Cover of this morning’s Sport magazine, the freebie you get at Tube stations.

Now, is this the face of the World’s highest paid player, or a slightly camp Austrian electro DJ? It makes Tony Woodcock’s effort of a year or so ago look completely acceptable.

What a drop kick ... Sweep the leg, Jonny.!!!

The Monkey On Our Back

2007-10-05T01:31:00.000+13:00

No not Eddie Jones, I mean this obsession with the World Cup.

If we win it, then awesome; that wee simian is off our back - and in the trophy cabinet.

If we do not win it - and I will qualify that by saying that losing the final is an even more palatable result than losing this quarter final or a semi final exit - then I do not think we can ever expect to. No national union can do more to construct a smooth campaign than the NZRU & The Three Wise Men have done. To not win it after this amount of preparation and control means that it is not worth worrying about - it is not a true barometer of Test rugby over a four year period, or even for the calendar year it takes place in.

Choke, schmoke. The World Cup is simply a few knockout games preceeded by some friendlies. It’s basically a Champions Tournament like cricket & hockey have.

However, I think we can and will go all the way. This team still has a lot more to show.

I don’t to want to make a score prediction for Saturday. It may be close, but I am not worried: We will win it. And while I’m feeeling optimistic, England will pip Aussie by a drop goal again, Springboks over Fiji naturally (without Little), and Scotland to end the Pumas run. What am I thinking?

Now ... some tidbits for the build up:

Some Foreign Field has some interesting stats if you like that sort of thing. They kind of level the playing field for the final eight, but that is my point from above ... it’s on the day from now on in.

Laporte's team has raised a few eyebrows, most notably Beauxis at 10 and Traille back at fullback. I am sure (through the haze of mulled wine) that when we beat Les Bleus in Lyon last year, Traille was thrust into first five, and he kicked like a donkey.

“They are not the All Blacks, they are New Zealand-ers,” he said. “You are given the impression of a myth, of a miracle – but they have only been champions of the world once. They are very, very good, but we are aiming to expose the myth a little. They are just like the rest, 15 chaps on a pitch . . . 15 good players.” says Bernie the Door.

Is Laporte a dodgy plonker as some of the Toulousains I spoke to thought. He has picked a surprise team, got one foot in politics, and has been accused of behaving like Del Boy with signed team jerseys. Is he crackin gup?

And Paul Rees of The Guradian is already bagging us for 2011 - it will be our fault if the IRB drop the number of teams to 16 due to our small stadiums. Um, I remember my mates trekking to Huddersfield for NZ v Italy in 1999. Hardly Wembley was it? Kiwis will go.

“The NZ Rugby Union is adamant that it will not be able to pitch ticket prices as high as its French counterparts have because, it says, their rugby followers will stay at home rather than pay over the odds, even in the knock-out stages. It wants the number of finalists to be reduced to 16 to cut costs, so reducing the number of "uncommercial" fixtures such as Romania against Portugal or Japan against Canada.”

Still loving this. Who thought Habana would be stood up like this ... ever?!

And finally, some good old YouTube - still makes the hairs on your neck stand up.

ALLEZ LES NOIRS!

Da dum ding, dum da dum ding ...

2007-10-03T06:53:00.000+13:00

That’s a stink phonetic effort at the Split Enz song ‘History Never Repeats’. Why you say? Well ... is history, in fact, about to repeat itself as we hit the crucial knockout stage because once again (drum roll) we are rolling out a (very talented) All Black fullback at centre.

So will it be the French partying like it’s 1999 again? Or will we knock out the hosts?

I think I was right in saying the XV for the quarter final would be more conservative than we have seen so far, but I was thinking Mauger & Smith as the centre pairing ... I honestly didn’t think they’d start Mils there. Is this merely a defensive move? A reshuffle based on truly constructing a brick wall of ABs across the pitch to soak up everything they throw or kick at us ... including SeaBass? I rekkin.

Add to that our usual nippy bench and it is a very good team; just one that has not played together much, or at least not for a while in the case of Mils being at 13.

I’m buying into it, but I’ll be nervously watching through my fingers.

See you at Y Mochyn Du

Unbeaten, unbeatable ... or untested?

2007-10-02T08:03:00.000+13:00

Toulouse was a cracker. The annointed home of French rugby, and soon to be home of Byron Kelleher, really put it on for this game, providing a full World Cup Village down on the banks of La Garonne, with numerous bars and big screens for all the fans to watch the games. Situated about halfway between the downtown and the Stade de Toulouse - which is on an island in the middle of the river - the village was the first real example we had seen so far of a host city really providing a focal point for visiting (and local) fans. Add to that, the table service at the outdoor bars, the large plasma screens and naturally the chance to wind down after the All Black game and watching some more amazing rugby, well it added up to a brilliant day.

I know modern Test rugby can be a bit obsessed with bums on seats, especially when we tour and are sniffing out the biggest gate we can get our hands on, but surely the All Blacks should revisit Toulouse as soon as possible, at the expense of Marseille if need be. We all really enjoyed Toulouse - every bar we went to the locals were rugby pundits - Lyon and Marseille did not have that vibe. My favourite was the barman of a place down by the University that had so many old rugby jerseys and socks hanging on the wall that the place smelt like a changing room. He was convinced that his French team are true quality, but that Bernie La Porte is a nutter.

The game against Scotland last week had let doubts into my mind; we just did not look convincing, but the game versus Romania restored some faith. We were sitting right on the touch line and the passing was relentless - our backs were hurling the ball at each other, simply willing the moves to continue. They did, to their glorious conclusions. I’m gushing.

The crowd were “Ooohing“ and “Aaahing” at everything we pulled off, and though they also cheered Romania on as much as they could, the utterances of such Anglo-French words as “magnifique” were clearly aimed at the All Blacks.

So welcome back Keith Robinson and take a bow Nick Evans - great efforts. Add to that Mauger anchoring things (a rudder for the bairns like Toeava?), the adaptability of our squad in general, and I think we are looking much better for the quarter final. And so far, no injuries. I think our ‘Top XV’ may actually prove to be a bit more conservative than people think - we do need wise heads and experienced players ... which definitely puts Luke on the bench. Lets face it, when Mauger has a big game, the All Blacks win.

And with loose units like Michalak and Pointrenaud in their team, the French have more worries with handling pressure and preventing les explosions e brain..

Allez les Noirs! Onward to Paris!

A Clean Sheet

2007-09-25T08:12:00.000+12:00

Forty points to nil. It looks like another awesome effort by the ABs in their less than challenging pool, but why is it that every person I talk to is still shaking their heads and doubting that the team is rising to a peak in time for the knockout stages? There were dropped balls galore and the backs even looked confused at times. I honestly think the two teams could not tell each other apart in tight play - the similarity of the strips, especially the upper body, was too strong. Bring Back Black!

Some ‘moves’ seem to be slowly appearing, and I love it when the All Blacks pull off good ones - though I thought the two cross kicks used very early on were both telegraphed, and its no wonder they didn’t quite come off. Will they pull a variation on these kicks later on? JC to Hayman?

I know the score does not matter in the big picture, and the Brains Trust has a plan, but we are going to need our A game for France in the Quarter because I can’t see Ireland beating the Pumas easily. Result after Cardiff = either the host nation or the favourite (us) will be out. If that happens, the bloody Wallabies will win again. Or South Africa. Or Argentina? Or England? Pull yourself together man.

It was a hilarious weekend again. Every Kiwi in the UK must have converged on Edinburgh, the town was swathed in black and it was an inescapable fact that the World Cup had hit town, even more so than in the two previous games at Marseille and Lyon. The Scots were also out in force, but as the big screen revealed the line-ups in Murrayfield the cheers of thousands greeting each All Black name made it clear that the Scots may not have the home ground easy ride they wanted.

Jonesy again found a celeb: this time he cornered pig hunter and part-time All Black Keith Robinson in a pub (he and Mils had pass-outs for a night). I think the big guy was there with friends or family for a quiet catch up, but he was kind enough to accept a five minute inquisition from us ... though the strange swing of topics that we were unleashing, from hunting, to training, to injuries, to where he and the boys can find the best pizza in Aix-en-Provence must have been daunting. I think we were pretty boozed by then. Robinson said he was itching for a run at Romania and things were looking good for that. Can’t wait to see him unleashed again and back in the sort of form that used to see him torment the English at HQ.

Other thoughts from the weekend:

Weren’t Tonga robbed of glory by a premature full time whistle?
England were loads better - could they upset the Wallabies?
I really, no really miss Tana nowadays
Why were there so many Basque flags up there?
Why does Edinburgh smell of Weetbix?

Off to Toulouse next, and can’t wait to spend a couple of days down in a real rugby heartland of France. I just hope we can truly click against Romania, a team who NZ used to play fairly regularly, and I think have been at every finals? Time to really pummel someone convincingly.

As I am typing Romania are seven points down to Portugal, a team that have been a revelation - maybe they should get a Divisional XV game out of NZ or something? They are the most professional amateurs in the Cup. If they play any better, the IRB might offer them hosting rights to ‘grow the game’.

Aurevoir
Lu

Outrage in Lilliput!

2007-09-21T23:37:00.001+12:00

My colleague Lisa has introduced me to Wee World, where you can create tiny versions of yourself and your friends.
(Here's ones of us above).

I was hugely excited to see that they have some of the rugby team's jerseys available and set abut creating the most superb collection of mini-All Blacks the world has ever seen.

However I'm outraged to find that only the 6 Nations tops are available! My teeny ABs had to be dressed in plain black - with no silver fern! I did consider leaving them naked in protest but this is a family blog after all, although strangely mini-DC happens to be sporting his well-promoted Jockeys. Am also upset to not be able to draw any Australians as there is a lovely Outback-style background.

I've drawn a few ABs anyway and a few of the more recognisable members of the other teams to show you the shirts, but I have somehow lost some enthusiasm.

Dan C; Rodders;

Big Jezza; O'Driscoll;

Chabal; Lamont;

Its all about the Brand

2007-09-21T23:37:00.000+12:00

Tourism New Zealand is to build a giant Rugby Ball Venue in front of the Eiffel Tower during the final stages of the Rugby World Cup to showcase New Zealand tourism and trade to international audiences, Prime Minister Helen Clark announced the other day.

Rumours that the French government is planning to erect a 15m high Coq in Auckland during the 2011 World Cup have been denied by Sports Minister Trevor Mallard. And he should know ...

The total project cost for the venue is $4.6 million which is cheaper than a yacht race. If it was selling Golden Takeaways Fishburgers or had Emersons Bookbinder on tap, I’d be there in a flash, but we enjoyed the French food & wine during the Provence leg ... so make mine un Kebab Cheval & a jug of Rosé, Gaston!

Thought Japan showed a lot of spunk last night - and their first try was one for the World Cup’s highlight reel. Tremendous passing and support running. Wales expectedly beat them, but what does it mean? Nothing but a romp. And really, those new tops of theirs are downright silly. “Upmarket foppery” as Xavier Rush’s Dad would say. Next time they tour Australia they may have to travel through the Outback, standing on the roof of their bus.

Big game tonight between Ireland and France. Could decide our route further in ... or not. probably pick France to do it with form and home advantage. Or will the Irish team finally kick-off? I’ll be glued to ITV1 - but with Radio 5 Live on ... can’t bear the TV commentators.

Lu

A Slow News Week

2007-09-20T05:10:00.000+12:00

UK media madness continues with stories about anything but actual games. And I don't think The Current Bun even knows the bloody World Cup is on.

The Times’ Grievin’ Bones says England need Henry as coach! And yesterday’s Metro here in London carried a little item of how the Premiership’s newest league convert Leslie 'The Volcano' Vainikolo, has thoughts of UK residency that could allow him to play for England. What a beat up! Can we cry “poachers” now? Nah, its a tired old line, as my chum Ferdy says, and we should not sink to the level of the UK media drones ... BUT if any Rose-wearing knob says we steal Samoans, just point out to them that in 1914 the NZ Expeditionary Force captured Samoa from Germany in The Great War, and pillaging colonies is a great BRITISH tradition!

Breathe, count to ten ...

Now, are the Irish Rugby team in crisis? Reports of Geordan Murphy being ready to quit for not being picked against Argentina are being denied ... but is he getting ready to do a Keano? Obviously, NZ would prefer a lacklustre Ireland in the Quarter Final, rather than a rebounding Les Bleus side on the rise after their banana peel opener vs the Pumas, and a frolic against Namibia. I think the prospect of either France or (gulp) us going out in the first knockout round would be bad for the tourney as a whole. France going out may kill it in the host nation.

But, are France the Dads Army of this RWC? There are some old heads and long campaigners there (Ibanez, Betsen, Pelous) ... do they have the stamina to match us, or even put us out in Cardiff? I think they have as much, if not slightly more depth than us ... especially at 4 through 8. Players like Betsen, Nyanga and the new 7 Thiery Dusautoir guarantee them quick ball, and Chabal is becoming one of this Cup’s crowd pleasers - check that run for his second try against Namibia.

But I think, with our fit, top XV (whatever that is), we just edge them in solidity, skill & speed.

Big Seb is also settling in at lock, a plan ‘Bernie the Door’ has had for some time apparently, and will play in the second row again, against Ireland. Yannick Jauzion is dropped, but is this cotton wool or the wooden spoon? We ate cracking paninis at a sandwich bar in La Ciotat called ‘Yannick’ with a oval ball logo ... is it Jauzion’s chain?

Chabal’s ultimate nemesis may well be Jerry Collins, who revealed his one weakness to the rugby media yesterday: a childhood fear of roosters. However, his methods of conquering that fear may well silence the crows of Le Coqs Rouge ... at breakneck speed.

Time to go - some pics here we took from our seats at the Italy game. Shows how close we were.

Seen the new England top? Thanks, Fi.

Interesting article here from Independent two weeks back, about rugby's rise under the Vichy regime in the 1940s, how it replaced ‘treize’ the 13 man game with not so subtle political moves.

Lu

Back on Deck

2007-09-18T07:18:00.001+12:00

When is a blog not a blog? Despite our best efforts, our 10 day trip to the first two pool games in Marseille and Lyon, we were distracted by the fine food and wine Provence supplied, and by the confusing French keyboards when we did try to use a local web cafe ... I mean, who wants to read about the “Qll Blqcks”?

Trip was awesome, and I am pleased to say that the expensive seats in the purple zone are worth it - in fact at Lyon we were on half way, near the non-playing ABs, and about 2 rows in front of Graham Henry and Steve Hansen, though separated by more technology than the Apollo Space Program, and also by the largest bloody bouncer I have ever seen. Fingers like sausages.

The atmosphere for Portugal was great - their fans perked up a fairly one-sided affair and gave it a carnival feel. I know a lot has been said about reducing the number of teams to 16 for 2011 in an attempt to make it more even, but the significance of that game for the Portuguese was immense. Fans by us said they can never see their team on TV, so to come and see them play the All Blacks in a World Cup was special. The reaction to their first points (the drop goal) was amazing; the noise upon Joao Correia getting the try was beserk.

No doubt a special day for them. Just a pity they don’t get much in the way of souvenirs. That night we bumped into two of their forwards in town, speaking to Andre Silva and he said that they could not get the All Black jerseys at the end. It seems Henry’s All Blacks can only give out socks and shorts to opponents. Doesn’t quite look the same, framed on the club room’s wall does it?

The game: Well, 108 on the board doesn’t look bad, but the consensus at the pub afterwards seemed to be that we were sloppy and off the pace. Luckily a lot of other teams seem below par as well - I hope we improve, cut out the dropsies, and begin to tighten up. The coaches didn’t look that wrapt afterwards.

Also thought Sione Luaki should have showed more. He had a chance to carve it up against Portugal, but still looks like he is a bit off the pace. Too much Provençal nosh, mayhaps?

Game day was awesome though, and afterwards we discovered we were staying in the same hotel as the TV3 team - so it was beers with Hamish McKay, AJ Wetton, Grant Fox and their crew in the foyer, then again later for Junior when he joined them in town at the Maori Cafe in Lyon.

Other highlights:

All Black fans: dressed up, pumped up and proving popular in France (so far)
The French getting back behind Les Bleus after their thumping of Namibia
Byron Kelleher’s immaculate French. We saw him on French TV, signing autographs, endlessly repeating in French “Hi ... How are you ... it’s hot, eh?” ... though with a pretty good accent to be fair.
Provençal food and wine: not much for vegetarians or tea-totallers ... but we managed.
World Cup organisation: all good so far, volunteers very helpful and each city very geared up for it.
Rectangular grounds: Lyon & Marseille are shared with football clubs and the immediacy of not sitting on a cricket boundary makes for great spectatoring!

Gripe - well, non-alcoholic beer at grounds, and only one bar selling it at all in the surrounding area at Lyon. Did all those Kiwis really know they were paying 5 euros for a 0% pint? We did try one - it tasted like a day old shandy. It does make for a relaxed atmosphere, and maybe saves a few casualties in the heat, but if Heineken are a major sponsor why can’t you buy their product?

Better go and let the missus post at some stage. Will try and get some photos up today.

Lu

Italy Down : Six games to go

2007-09-10T01:02:00.000+12:00

Made it. Just took me longer to work out this French keyboard than it did for the All Blacks to score against Italy.

Aix en Provence, where we are staying, is a gorgeous small town about 35 mins on a train from Marseille, but since UK Train Company Management Techniques must have spread to France, its suddenly a 60 min bus ride.

Marseille awoke yesterday to a swarm of Black clad drinkers; the Vieux Port was heaving with Kiwis, and AB fans from other countries ... French, Italian, even 3 Dutch guys Junior met who had driven through the night from Holland to get here.

The main roundabout in the centre of town was decked out in a double life size Wicker Man XV doing a haka. At this stage we are unsure whether they torched an Edward (Clive) Woodward effige in it, but nevertheless it was pounced upon by snap happy Kiwis in the thousands;

THE GAME

Pleased to say that our seats in the expensive package were worth the extra dosh: 10 metre line about 4 to 5 rows back. Fi was convinced she could see Dougies VPL when he was stretching. The crowd was at first pro NZ, but I think many French began to whistle us and felt sorry for the Azzuri ... just in sympathy, not anything bad. The reaction the Italian tries got was very loud.

All up, a good atmosphere, and a good game. Not tense or a classic because nothing was really at stake yet, but Richie, Howlett, Leon M and the Locks looked in top nick. And no one got hurt.

Play of the day: J Collins, chip and chase. Just the sort of thing that winds up the purists at The Times ... forwards playing like backs.

Worrying: Luke M and his Spencer tendencies. Give me Evans as the backup 10 please. And Toeava needs to be more confident, it looked like he was afraid to take that try off Howlett.

Atmosphere here is great. The French are warming up to this big time, even after their hiccup against the Pumas, they have to stay in this ... no host would be bad.

Five days of holiday now before the Lyon game. Not missing London at all. It is awesomely sunny here, and the food is incredible. And the wine is very, very cheap.

Mind the Gap

2007-09-04T04:42:00.000+12:00

Its just over three days to go, and only now are The Papers here starting to even notice. The weekend just gone finally saw the likes of The Times and The Observer acknowledge the fact the World Cup was even on this week, but the supplements were poor when you consider the the scale of this sporting event. They were by the numbers, and had a few odd mistakes or items. For a start, The Times identified Matt Giteau as a Springbok player to watch (under a photo of him in the Canary Yellow of the Wallabies), and the Observer saw fit to designate nearly four pages of the ‘World Cup Special’ in their Sport Monthly to an irrelevant chat between two great English journeymen - Martin Corry and ... Matthew Hoggard! Last time I looked, even Henry Paul had more English rugby caps than Hoggard. The cover story: Beckham. Sigh.

Conclusions that they seemed to draw across the board:

The gap between NZ and the rest of the World has closed - I say “Rope a dope”
Dan Carter is not the player he was in 2005 - I say “Correct, he’s now got two more years experience”
Get McCaw: nullify him by making him make tackles and ending up under rucks - I say “Brilliant ... that's his bloody job”
The weight of expectation is too much for the All Blacks - I say “Duh, its our National Sport. Its the same every Test Match, let alone a World Cup”
That Ireland will be our 2007 Banana Peel - I say “They have never beaten us. They won’t achieve that in a RWC knockout.”

Mind the Gap I reckon - it’ll open up again in the knockout stages.

With all of England as usual obsessed with the new Premiership season, and the upcoming Euro 2008 qualifiers against Russia and Israel (yes, they’re in UEFA because the Palestinians won’t give their ball back since it went over the Aparthei ..., sorry, Peace Wall) I am glad we are going to France - a rugby country. See the welcome the ABs got in Marseilles? What a master stroke having Monsieur Fluffy McCaw greet the locals in French! Finally a PR success from the Thorndon Quay brains trust. Now even the French are on our side, that’s gotta be a good sign. Mind you, I think that's what Churchill thought ...

ALL BLACK PLAYLIST

TV 3 and Sky (in their 60 second highlights bonanzas) will no doubt rely on Back in Black by AC/DC, or if they really stretch themselves, Men in Black by Will Smith. Yawn. Why not ‘get pumped’ with proper music, I found these tunes lurking on my iPod. Got any others to add?

All Black World Cup - Casiospittake

The Haka - Ka Mate

Men in Black - Frank Black

Black Magic - Jarvis Cocker

Back to Black - Amy Winehouse

Black & White - Asian Dub Foundation

Black Flowers - Yo La Tengo

Black Out - Pavement

Weight of the World - Black Rebel Motorcycle Club

Black Supreme - Ansell Collins & The Upsetters

Waltzin’ Black - The Stranglers

Black Wave - The Shins

Home Again - Shihad

Home, Land & Sea - Trinity Roots (my pick for new natty anthem)

And one last (possible) musical omen - I went to see Sonic Youth perform Daydream Nation in a Don’t Look Back concert at The Roundhouse on Saturday night; it was phenomenal. What’s it got to do with the rugby? Well, it was released in 1988 ... when NZ were World Rugby Champions. Sign of desperation?

Lu

Fashion in the Field

2007-09-03T08:05:00.000+12:00

For fans of the fairer sex, it is important to invest in rugby couture that is functional and practical (must survive those beer-splashing jumping up and down shrieking moments) while still maintaining an air of sophistication and style.

We kiwis are lucky to have the world's most fashionable colour. Black is slimming, goes with everything (including more black) and durable. Black is sleek and intimidating. Black is timeless.

The latest addition to my WCW (World Cup Wardrobe) is the womens All Blacks T-shirt. It has a flattering V-neck, a subtle fern pattern along one side of the neckline, and a couple of small white logos. This means it's perfect for wearing just about anywhere. The official shop is also offering a number of great womens tops - thank goodness we don't have to wear yellow with green piping! The shop also offers a range of vital accessories such as the RWC pillow cover, duvet cover... and musical keyrings - intriguing.

Thanks to a good friend who held a dress-up murder mystery last night, my latest accessories to add to the WCW are a black bob wig and black pashmina. They should come in handy at some point!

Also important is your choice of shoe - it must be able to withstand climbing up and down stadium steps, tomato sauce, and venturing into public toilets. Anything open-toed is probably not a good option.

Until next time, fashionistas

xx

Nervous as the Nineties

2007-08-30T23:43:00.000+12:00

No hiding this time. In 1999 I was living in the UK, but chose to spend my cash on a trip home rather than sojourns to sunny Huddersfiled to watch World Cup Games. Somehow the lure of Central America was greater than Hart's All Blacks. Not because I was anti the team; I just think that first 3 years in London had disconnected me from rugby a bit. Now, after another 5 year spell in NZ watching NPC & Super 12, I am fanatical again ... and this time round we have even managed to see the All Blacks play here and in France which can't be beat. Last year we even had primo seats at the new Twickers courtesy of the other half's 3 month stint as a contractor at the RFU. The ultimate mole!

Back in '99 I actually believed we had won the semi against France. I was with my mates Ewen & Jenn, travelling through Mexico & Guatemala during that World Cup, and the last report on the game we got was that we were up at half time, looking good and Big Jonah was going crazy. So while I was sunning it up in Tulum, blissfully ignorant of the final score for three days (news broken by gloating Englishman), AB fans were elsewhere venting their spleens. I didn't have a scooby. I still have the draw I took in my diary, taped on the inside back cover; it has NZ inked in as a finalist. Sad, eh?

Fast forward 8 years: I'm back in London, with a MasterCard maxed out to buy All Black tickets and after one score years, its time to correct our past failings, and put that crap about 'choking' to bed for good. I honestly believe we are as well prepard as we can be. Sure it would be nice to have Tana's old head in the back line, and a bit more game time with centre combinations, but the squad Ted has built up is the envy of the rugby world. I think only France can match us in the potential of their 30 players. Other teams like England and South Africa may try and batter their way through the knockouts, but us and Les Bleus are clear faves ... all we have to is get past those Wallabies. And I have a cunning plan ...

Reschedule the match for midnight - its past their bedtime!

In the UK press today: Guardian: "Since the last World Cup, Graham Henry's men have won 34 of 39 Tests, inflicted a record defeat on the British and Irish Lions and won the southern hemisphere's premier event, the Tri-Nations, three years in a row. They are unbeaten against European nations for over four years and in that time have handed England and France their heaviest home defeats." 'Nuff said.

And the Independent - just when I sometimes begin to nod approval at their coverage they write drivel like this "the Guinness Premiership – firmly established as the leading domestic tournament in the game and envied by every major rugby nation with the single exception of France, who have a thriving league of their own". The only thing I envy about English rugby is its modesty and humility.

Still, the rugby world must look different to them, they are looking up from seventh place. Swing low indeed ;0)

Player Poaching

2007-08-30T21:23:00.000+12:00

Here in the UK, when reading what is passed off as rugby journalism, you constantly get annoyed by pointless references to the NZRU 'poaching' players from the Pacific Islands. Its a tired argument, offered up by frustrated Englishmen, and in particular, one confused Welshman at The Times.

Lately the flip-flop is on the other foot though. As if Guinness Premiership beer barons snapping up all our All Blacks for their bloated domestic squads was not bad enough, now our Ballroom Dancing talent is being pinched by an Old Blighty desparate for any slice of glory over their sausage eating foes.

I hope Brendan Cole will be watching the rugby. He may even have a pair or two of Dan Carter briefs for good luck. Then again, these dancers probably go Commando.

Let The Games Begin!

2007-08-29T09:31:00.000+12:00

After crossing off the days to the World Cup all year, it's suddenly upon us! Time to start the packing checklist:

Large sunglasses (so to be mistaken for minor celebrity) - Check
Large binoculars (for staking out the ABs hotel pool) - Check
Palmy Army T-shirt (thanks Lorraine!) - Check
Lucky All Blacks jersey (lucky because it is a kids one and therefore was a bargain!) - Check
Jandals (what kiwi leaves home without them?) - Check

I will blend in with the locals perfectly, aye?

NB: Must leave room for booty from St Tropez shopping explorations

We're really looking forward to returning to the land of pain au chocolat and croissants, Amelie and Delicatessen, saucisson and fromage. We're being joined by various mad friends along the way, so am sure we will have plenty to report.

So, first to Marseille - we're looking forward to being by the sea, to eating boullabaisse, and to exploring the oldest city in France. And of course to see Richie and the boys in action against Italy. We're staying in the same town as they are...hence the need for aforementioned binoculars....

The Old Red Rooster

2007-08-29T07:33:00.000+12:00

The chicken has roared, and pounded the Dragon.

I think France and the All Blacks must now head in as favourites, followed by South Africa whose build up has been slightly less solid, but not confidence shattering. Los Pumas must also be happy, but England, Ireland, Wales and Scotland have all been given wake up calls in the last few weeks that definitely expose both their lack of cohesion at Test level and also their squad depth one week out. Better chances for Italy and/or Samoa now getting through to the knockouts? Who knows.

Wouldn't an NZ v France final be fairytale-like? Great for the game to see that final, and JC going toe to toe with big Seb Chabal again.

And as for Waikato? Wow, hats off, Mooloo. I can almost hear Griff screaming "Go for fifty, Waikato!!!" from where I sit typing this in London. They got the 50 points, and the Log of Wood.

And one more strange Mooloo linked item: Mitch defends McCaw.

Unfortunately, I saw none of the above games as we were up in the Cotswolds for Bank Holiday (why don't public holidays have names in the UK?), in a quiet spot called Kingham, eating and drinking the best local produce we could find. And there was lots of it. Its more like rugby territory up there, but try telling that to these guys.

I am taking this as a good omen.

26 degrees in Marseilles today ...

14 MORE SLEEPS TO KICK OFF

2007-08-24T22:41:00.000+12:00

The English summer has been appalling. Even by the usual standards of Kiwi's bagging things British, this year the arrival of summer has been as slow as the English pack to a breakdown.

Me and the missus have starved ourselves of summer hols so far to take in all the All Black pool games, Quarter Final, and (touch Woodcock) the Semi Final ... passing on a return to our favourite music festival or Bridget Jones-style 'minibreaks' to scrimp pennies and paid leave for what we hope is a winning tournament in La Belle France.

Even my Dad is here at the moment, and he is planning to leave early so he can get to Honolulu and watch the early rounds from a swimming pool bar, rather than down at the King's Queen's Nag's Horse's Head with flat ale, and a damp umbrella tucked between his feet.

But late next week, we head off to Provence: first to Marseilles, then Lyon for the games against Italy and Portugal respectively. And that's just up the road from what is now Umaga Country - Toulon.

France. Choice. Nothing like a Rugby World Cup in a rugby country. No disrespect to Ole' Blighty, but here the game loses battle with football by such a massive margin that trips to France or Wales to see New Zealand play are very special. Raucous, hilarious occasions where the UK ex-pats show off all that is best (or worst) about a few thousand liquor-fuelled Kiwis in a confined space. Last November's game against France in Lyon was brilliant, not just because of the scoreline, but due to the three or four thousand Exponents-singing All Black fans. Even Earl Kirton joined in.

Can't wait. Kia kaha.