King Frank

I’m with Frank Bunce on this one, and he is royalty after all. I think Luke McAlister should play in a New Zealand comp first before being picked for the All Blacks. Despite his obvious class and ability to play 10 and 12, the guy has been playing for Sale Sharks in the England’s Guinness Premiership and I think its fair to say that on day to day basis that league is below the standard of our Super 14 and Air NZ Cup ... certainly it lacks the intensity & pace needed to just let you swan into the Tri Nations. Sorry, but its true; the league may have a more professional structure, based as it is on the private ownership model of Premiership Football, but its dour play and inconsistency are all to visible in England’s style (or lack thereof).

And anyway, the NZRU making special dispensations for its marquee players is an idea that’s already down 0-1 ... look at Carter’s injury. Both he and Lukey went over to ultimately experience Heineken Cup finals rugby; neither of them got there, unlike Byron Kelleher at Toulouse.

It may well be that as Britain’s cash strapped millionaires tighten their belts and lose interest in forking out for minority sports like rugby, so the financial carrot dangling for our players might shrink.

Martin Johnson is also saying he will pick players based in England over those plying their trade in France’s Top 14 (which matches Warren Gatland’s leanings towards Magners League players for Welsh selection), so the days of us losing prime ABs to the Northern Hemisphere may be coming to a close.

Might get a Lotto ticket this week - after all, weekend just gone was a clean sweep: Hurricanes, Black Caps and West Ham won ... that NEVER happens.

What a load of rubbish

Not my headline at all, but that of the Guardian’s Eddie Butler in review of England’s latest Six Nations effort. It seems they are still flopping around off their feet like the fatties they are, incapable of giving a pass to unleash their “wing three-quarters”, and getting binned quicker than the copy of ‘Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus’ my mum got me for a birthday present five or so years back. They have leaked 30 points so far in the 6N while players were in the bin, and are apparently cheating in blatant fashion. He said it.

Its clear England’s intent has moved beyond 10 man rugby, but 14 seems to be their favourite number this season. The Red Roses’ failure has put the Irish on track to for a Grand Slam title this year (providing they beat Scotland and then Wales), but unlike Wales’ clear dominance of last year’s competition, I am not sure Ireland are head and shoulders above what is an average field. If Wales are indeed in a slump, then it may indeed be a hard task for McGeecan to get the Lions up to threaten with the Springboks later this year - though I can’t wait for that tour.

Meanwhile here ... the Canes ‘A Team’ pulled off the Big One down against the Soldiers of Christendom, I mean the Crusaders. Nonu back on form apparently. I’ll admit I was at the T20 game between India and NZ in Wellington, so I only saw the rugby on bar visits, but the nods of the blokes inside the lounge seemd to indicate a much improved performance, and many “toldyasos” about Weepu at 10.

Though now aren’t we chasing Lukey’s signature again? Been there before though; his Dad said no, and we ended up with Spongbob Squarepants at first five for two seasons.

At least it has put their season back on track, barring any train wrecks on the road in South Africa.

Still, I‘m a bit more into the Indian cricket tour at the moment, the Rockstars as they call them. Loved the way our bowlers restricted an incredible batting line up to such a moderate score, and despite the hiccups, our boys swung the willow at the right time.

It is great that our pitches are more conducive to good cricket now, and we are not relying on those green monstrosities that were producing 15 wickets a day on the last tour by India. We have to compete with the ‘Rockstars’, even if our new load of Young Guns are still a bit pub rock.

Be back the Caketin for the ODI this week. Mmmm, overpriced, warm, plastic-tasting beer.

Home again.

Back in Nu Zild, escaping the Credit Crunch for now ... maybe if things get worse we can just get Ben to “move the island”?

But due to relocation costs back from the UK, a Sky subscription is a long way off for my house so I have been unwillingly weened off telly sports; no Premiership (ironic considering I can see more live games here in NZ), no re-fed Channel 9 cricket (I’m loving Radio Sport’s ABC feed though), and no Super 12 ... sorry, old habits ... Super 14 en mi casa either. How do I cope? Easy. I am one of the handful of chumps to renew their Cake Tin season passes again.

I kept these cursed things the whole time I was in the UK. Through a mix of friends using them and reimbursing me, and then giving other games or entire seasons out to family, I have retained a spiritual presence in Aisle 14, but going for the first two rounds this year I am questioning it. I believe the initial season pass sales broke the 15,000 barrier in the early Noughties; this year it has fallen to about seven thousand? Pathetic.

We used to have ‘buddies’ sitting next to us in the near capacity crowds back in 2001-2003 ... the same punters who turned up every week to watch the Canes, and to put up with relentless barricking from my Waikato mate when we played the Chiefs or the pure Mooloo Bell Ringing Lunatics in the NPC. Now they are gone and I am surrounded by a sea of empty yellow plastic, and the vista across the stadium is no better. Plus some Random Fat Bloke (RFB) has taken a liking to my seat the last two weeks and I reckon he may be some sort of porky jinx - not a problem when there is no shortage of seats, but its the priniciple. Bleedin’ liberties.

Hurricanes? Well, its like watching an episode of The Office or Curb Your Enthusiasm these days - I do it with hands raised to my face, occasionally fanning my fingers apart and peering sheepishly through gaps. The Warratahs game was, frankly, cack and last Friday night just as bad except for the fact they somehow won it in the 35th minute or something. Nuts. How the hell all these pundits were putting the Hurricanes down as favourites for 2009 is beyond me. There is no on field leadership there, and against the Highlanders they looked rudderless for long periods again. Crusaders next week - Ouch. If they make the playoffs, hell will be a very cool place ... and Vietch will be fronting an ad campaign for Womens Refuge; he could take his mate Deaker door to door.

I am honest enough to be clear on one thing though: I am keeping my season passes through to any clear entitlement that gets me 2011 World Cup tickets. That’s really why I will keep turning up .. I mean, I love going, but this year there is no benefit to having a season ticket. You can turn up 15 mins before kick-off and sit anywhere you please. Its all very well for Wellington Rugby to say they look at providing value for their loyal season ticket holders, and that they look to survey those members every year, but I have NEVER been asked my opinion or offered any sort of special deals or upgrades despite forking out thousands of dollars (more fool me!) over the last 8 years.

I’ll be there every week though - torturing yourself through team support is all part of it. Why back Man U when can I suffer as a West Ham fan? Why back the Ngati One-Eyes in red and black, when a bunch of (mainly) local kids can deplete my pleasure receptors every week or so?

Hopefully things will pick up, but the rugby is anything but ‘super’ at the moment. Its as faded and saggy as Captain Hurricane’s flight suit. Maybe we all need a bit of what Matt Stevens is on?

Nil Point!

I was not convinced we would win this one. I knew it would be close, but not which way it might go depending on refs and interpretation of the breakdown. All Blacks v Springboks games in South Africa are the Big Day Out games for AB fans here in the UK - afternoon kick-off and only an hour time difference. It usually means an annual pilgrimage to the Walkabout to bait our Jaapie Brethren, the hordes that inevitably outnumber even the ubiquitous ex-pat Kiwis in London, but this year it did not happen.

It felt like all my mates wanted to watch it apart. Each in a dark room. Alone ... just in case things went pear-shaped again. Personally, I had been to the Ikea in Tottenham Hale before the game, so I figured if I could survive that hell-hole, take that bullet for the team, then I could sit at home on my own couch with a pint and finally get some use out of my over-priced Sky Uk subscription.

Besides, I like Guinness - and chances are, waiting for a poured pint of Black Magic at the Walkie on Saturday would have been agony - like an English winger waiting for the ball.

So Carter is only human? He still recovered and kicked us well territorially. I am liking what I see now of the game plan adapting to the ELVs - we seem to have a few more options if things don’t work. Our 6,7 and 8 were tireless, we absolutely killed them in the breakdown and McCaw was everywhere ... sublime. And I enjoyed the spark Piri Weepu added when he came on. It seems Henry likes to keep him on the bench, fizzing ... then he revels in an appearance.

Maybe a reactive win than a full tilt blinding performance. We did score two great tries (and an opportunistic lurking Hooker score), but it was the huge, shuffling defensive effort that kept the Boks out. And it was great to not see too much high percentage, crazy stuff again.

One concern though: Can anyone remind when was the last time an All Black wing scored a try this year? It seems like forever. Where is Joe?

And so to the UK press. My favourite part of the weekend, when I see what the English scribes have been up to, or what planet they are on:

Lord Sphincter is up to his old tricks - I mean, I myself sometimes get signal interference on Sky in the heavy rain, but what channel is this guy actually watching!? The All Blacks were ‘nothing special’ and DC merely a ‘serviceable player’. Stop it, Steve-O ... my sides are aching. Besides, the last way an All Black would want to appear to an English fan is ‘serviceable’ - he might well end up in a hotel room getting ‘serviced’.

The Indy had Richie down as ‘giving the greatest displays in rugby history’. They also had a little preview of the game on Friday by the shabbily treated Brian Ashton - read between the lines and I think you see a guy very much in favour of the ELVs.

Aunty has us as ‘edging’ the Boks. 19-0? That’s a thicker edge than Brendan McCullum has ever swished his way to.

Good old Guardian lefties got a favourable report too, indeed the tone echoed Sky’s post match opinion of NZ rugby: “Crisis? What crisis?” Does this mean all rugby pundits here in the UK have a thing for Supertramp?

Congrats to Percy Montgomery too. He could not produce the fairytale 100th cap, but hell, 100 tests for South Africa? Pretty amazing when you think about the politics of their game. And they had a minute’s silence pre game for a recently departed Bok, who played a mere 4 tests for his country. Percy should get the back of a coin or bank note surely.

But maybe the best performance, the one that should be cherished the most for possibly saving the game for NZ game (or at least preserved our lead) ... it should go to the demonised Wayne Barnes for eyeing up Brian Habana’s trotter as it dabbed the chalk when he seemed to break free for a try. Mr Barnes can’t quite expect a lifetime of upgrades on Air NZ just yet, and I still can’t totally let go of his Cardiff effort last year, but well ... he was on the job.


80 minutes of the real season left. Off to Brisbane to beat the Wallabies. Hopefully, eh.

A Week is a long tme ...

Watching Sky UK this morning, it seemed Zinny Brooke could hardly contain himself . He had ants in his pants, and I think I was the same.

Naturally being over here too means I can avoid the nastiest and utterly stupid rantings of some so-called NZ sports ‘writers’, but I still picked up on the undercurrent of derision that seems to permanently float so near the surface of All Black support these days, and it is embarrassing.

Yes, they did suck last week, and yes, certain players have convincingly played themselves out of the 22 ... even the 30. The coaches also got it horribly wrong to the point where the NZRFU HR Dept was feeling the heat, and we got hijacked in an ELV frenzy.

The All Blacks have lost crucially experienced players and are rebuilding. If Deans had been given the reigns, would it be any different two games in? I doubt it. In a choice between a complete clean out or continuity, I know what I would choose given a pretty successful 3-4 years ... bar (massive) the Cardiff blip.

Well done All Blacks. Some awesome individual efforts there, and so much attitude was brought today with the forwards committing and blowing out Wallabies everywhere. Keep it up, and please improve even more.

I don’t see why how the way the game was played today can’t a blueprint moving forward. We exhibited all our usual speed, width and quick hands, but it was tempered with a lot more control and a consideration of options, often followed by the correct strategic choice; Carter kicked much better tonight, and steadied us with territorial gains nicely. Plus the scrum was used more and (quelle horreur!) we attacked the Wallaby lineout with great effect.

I think the game in Sydney was turned into a shocking showcase for the ELVs in Test rugby - it was scrag, and that playsed into the hands of ‘footy’ style Australia. Eden Park was a game of rugby, and a thrilling 60 minutes.

We still have to dominate the other 20 minutes though to deserve the reputation of invincibility we so willingly apply to our beloved All Blacks. Less football-like 5 minute subs please!

And Manawatu beat Canterbury as well! First time since when, 1982 or something. Done in style too, hoaxing the touch judges into not awarding the final penalty that would have given it to the red and blacks. The greatest trick pulled by the green and whites since our ‘ball up the jumper’ ploy back in the Ranfurly Shield glory days of the late 70s.

GO, GO, MANAWATU!!!