The Brain Gain

All this talk of McAlister coming home ... what about me and my un-sports hero ilk? I did not come back to NZ because my lucrative egg ball contract came to an end; I came back to New Zealand because it is my bloody home, because I wanted to be back in the same country as my family, and because when I want to eat fish n chips I want it to be freshly cooked in front of me, by a smiling cook ... not stewed by some hunchbacked illiterate Limey, in oil brought back from Dunkirk, and left for three hours under a sun lamp. Sheesh.

Even The Listener was getting in on the act with its cover story this week - High Flyers. What a load of old arse. If they were such high bloody flyers they would be able to ride things out over there, instead of coming back here like prodigal sons & daughters, attempting to multiply economic activity merely by wafting their Air Points cards across the great unwashed.

Sample of the ‘typical’ Kiwis the Listener says are coming home: a journalist, an IT specialist, a research scientist, a global marketing project manager, and a cardiologist. What about all the call centre workers, accountants, landscape gardeners, lawyers, plumbers, admin staff, marketers, drivers, teachers & nurses? I get that the article is aiming at the so-called best and brightest, but it actually ignores the lesser twinklers, people like... well me.

I have got 15 years experience in the graphics/advertising industry - I’m looking for a job, and finding it bloody hard. I am stoked to be back here, but its going to take me a while to find work. I left a very enjoyable (and safe) job in London to come home, and I knew it would be a lot harder to find work once I got back here - no illusions. I just think that the Listener article should have focussed on common reasons why average Kiwis were coming home, and what their hopes were. Instead it looks like it was done via Facebook asking disparate friends a few Twitterish questions, and the journalist the story opens with never even bloody left the UK! What a twist!

Jesus, you can see why I have The Guardian’s website bookmarked if this is the sort of tosh you have to pay for here.

And if anyone out there knows what a ‘global marketing project manager’ actually does, feel free to let me know. It sounds like the sort of role you would put on your application for The Apprentice ... but then again, I’m looking for a new job.

PS In regards to the bankers & The Crunch though, check Boon out. Ditto.

Nil Point!

I was not convinced we would win this one. I knew it would be close, but not which way it might go depending on refs and interpretation of the breakdown. All Blacks v Springboks games in South Africa are the Big Day Out games for AB fans here in the UK - afternoon kick-off and only an hour time difference. It usually means an annual pilgrimage to the Walkabout to bait our Jaapie Brethren, the hordes that inevitably outnumber even the ubiquitous ex-pat Kiwis in London, but this year it did not happen.

It felt like all my mates wanted to watch it apart. Each in a dark room. Alone ... just in case things went pear-shaped again. Personally, I had been to the Ikea in Tottenham Hale before the game, so I figured if I could survive that hell-hole, take that bullet for the team, then I could sit at home on my own couch with a pint and finally get some use out of my over-priced Sky Uk subscription.

Besides, I like Guinness - and chances are, waiting for a poured pint of Black Magic at the Walkie on Saturday would have been agony - like an English winger waiting for the ball.

So Carter is only human? He still recovered and kicked us well territorially. I am liking what I see now of the game plan adapting to the ELVs - we seem to have a few more options if things don’t work. Our 6,7 and 8 were tireless, we absolutely killed them in the breakdown and McCaw was everywhere ... sublime. And I enjoyed the spark Piri Weepu added when he came on. It seems Henry likes to keep him on the bench, fizzing ... then he revels in an appearance.

Maybe a reactive win than a full tilt blinding performance. We did score two great tries (and an opportunistic lurking Hooker score), but it was the huge, shuffling defensive effort that kept the Boks out. And it was great to not see too much high percentage, crazy stuff again.

One concern though: Can anyone remind when was the last time an All Black wing scored a try this year? It seems like forever. Where is Joe?

And so to the UK press. My favourite part of the weekend, when I see what the English scribes have been up to, or what planet they are on:

Lord Sphincter is up to his old tricks - I mean, I myself sometimes get signal interference on Sky in the heavy rain, but what channel is this guy actually watching!? The All Blacks were ‘nothing special’ and DC merely a ‘serviceable player’. Stop it, Steve-O ... my sides are aching. Besides, the last way an All Black would want to appear to an English fan is ‘serviceable’ - he might well end up in a hotel room getting ‘serviced’.

The Indy had Richie down as ‘giving the greatest displays in rugby history’. They also had a little preview of the game on Friday by the shabbily treated Brian Ashton - read between the lines and I think you see a guy very much in favour of the ELVs.

Aunty has us as ‘edging’ the Boks. 19-0? That’s a thicker edge than Brendan McCullum has ever swished his way to.

Good old Guardian lefties got a favourable report too, indeed the tone echoed Sky’s post match opinion of NZ rugby: “Crisis? What crisis?” Does this mean all rugby pundits here in the UK have a thing for Supertramp?

Congrats to Percy Montgomery too. He could not produce the fairytale 100th cap, but hell, 100 tests for South Africa? Pretty amazing when you think about the politics of their game. And they had a minute’s silence pre game for a recently departed Bok, who played a mere 4 tests for his country. Percy should get the back of a coin or bank note surely.

But maybe the best performance, the one that should be cherished the most for possibly saving the game for NZ game (or at least preserved our lead) ... it should go to the demonised Wayne Barnes for eyeing up Brian Habana’s trotter as it dabbed the chalk when he seemed to break free for a try. Mr Barnes can’t quite expect a lifetime of upgrades on Air NZ just yet, and I still can’t totally let go of his Cardiff effort last year, but well ... he was on the job.


80 minutes of the real season left. Off to Brisbane to beat the Wallabies. Hopefully, eh.

Buggeur!

A nod to Griff’s message that, and it sums it up really. Now 24 hours has passed, I have calmed down since wanting to put a foot through one of Millenium Stadium’s plethora of urinals, and I think I can shrug the shoulders and move on. Hell, aren’t we getting used to this?

It started to become obvious with 25 mins left - that nagging, sinking feeling that the pendulum had swung, and the game was slipping from the All Blacks. France showed a lot of heart, they were backed by incredibly vocal support all night.

Where did they get all the tickets? Who thought 70,000 people would turn up to watch a game of force back?

Again we had great seats - we could see Rodney’s dreads strain as the French forwards were pulling them on the deck. And we were close enough that we all saw Michalak’s forward pass (even Francois Pelous’ Mere, Pere & Wife who were next to us) right in front of us, but no one with a whistle or a flag did. That was the nail in the coffin, or Henry’s wrong rub of the green. Fact is, we came up short (no Plan B ... again?), and it could have just as easily happened in the semi or the final had we got through. I think we got strangled more than us choking.

Add to that, the disappearing act of the advantage the ref gave us when it looked to me the French had slapped down the ball in front of the posts in the dying seconds and ... well, here I go again. C’est la vie.

We had an awesome time at the games we got to; the game against in Portugal in Lyon was a great day out (please keep it at 20 teams and respect the minnows), and Toulouse was also a joy. I actually wish that all our games were in France as Edinburgh and Cardiff just felt less carnivallike, or maybe just a little too familiar. Probably all the wasted New Zealanders - it went from carnival to just plain Carnage.

I just feel sorry for all the people coming over from NZ on tours now (my Mum included) who won’t be watching their own team now .... scalp the tickets! If there is a silver lining, its a cash one for us, as our package guarantees us a refund of the semi final we did not make. So, voila ... Xmas in Morocco is paid for.

Hope the Argies go through now against Scotland. And I hope that France have enough in the tank to fight off a revitalised England ... i.e. I want someone to win it for their first time.

Thanks France. Thanks Ted, Steve & Wayne ... thanks ABs. And good luck the outbound ABs: Chris Jack, Aaron Mauger, Luke McAlister, Anton Oliver, Carl Hayman, Byron Kelleher ... did I forget anyone? There’s so many. Oh, Dougie Howlett ... why were you not on the field?

By next August we’ll be No. 1 again, so why is this thing such a ‘Holy Grail’? We do bette rwhen we are underdogs.

Doesn’t it suck there was not a World Cup in 2005?

Fi ... time to step up and post, lass.