The Brain Gain

All this talk of McAlister coming home ... what about me and my un-sports hero ilk? I did not come back to NZ because my lucrative egg ball contract came to an end; I came back to New Zealand because it is my bloody home, because I wanted to be back in the same country as my family, and because when I want to eat fish n chips I want it to be freshly cooked in front of me, by a smiling cook ... not stewed by some hunchbacked illiterate Limey, in oil brought back from Dunkirk, and left for three hours under a sun lamp. Sheesh.

Even The Listener was getting in on the act with its cover story this week - High Flyers. What a load of old arse. If they were such high bloody flyers they would be able to ride things out over there, instead of coming back here like prodigal sons & daughters, attempting to multiply economic activity merely by wafting their Air Points cards across the great unwashed.

Sample of the ‘typical’ Kiwis the Listener says are coming home: a journalist, an IT specialist, a research scientist, a global marketing project manager, and a cardiologist. What about all the call centre workers, accountants, landscape gardeners, lawyers, plumbers, admin staff, marketers, drivers, teachers & nurses? I get that the article is aiming at the so-called best and brightest, but it actually ignores the lesser twinklers, people like... well me.

I have got 15 years experience in the graphics/advertising industry - I’m looking for a job, and finding it bloody hard. I am stoked to be back here, but its going to take me a while to find work. I left a very enjoyable (and safe) job in London to come home, and I knew it would be a lot harder to find work once I got back here - no illusions. I just think that the Listener article should have focussed on common reasons why average Kiwis were coming home, and what their hopes were. Instead it looks like it was done via Facebook asking disparate friends a few Twitterish questions, and the journalist the story opens with never even bloody left the UK! What a twist!

Jesus, you can see why I have The Guardian’s website bookmarked if this is the sort of tosh you have to pay for here.

And if anyone out there knows what a ‘global marketing project manager’ actually does, feel free to let me know. It sounds like the sort of role you would put on your application for The Apprentice ... but then again, I’m looking for a new job.

PS In regards to the bankers & The Crunch though, check Boon out. Ditto.

Nil Point!

I was not convinced we would win this one. I knew it would be close, but not which way it might go depending on refs and interpretation of the breakdown. All Blacks v Springboks games in South Africa are the Big Day Out games for AB fans here in the UK - afternoon kick-off and only an hour time difference. It usually means an annual pilgrimage to the Walkabout to bait our Jaapie Brethren, the hordes that inevitably outnumber even the ubiquitous ex-pat Kiwis in London, but this year it did not happen.

It felt like all my mates wanted to watch it apart. Each in a dark room. Alone ... just in case things went pear-shaped again. Personally, I had been to the Ikea in Tottenham Hale before the game, so I figured if I could survive that hell-hole, take that bullet for the team, then I could sit at home on my own couch with a pint and finally get some use out of my over-priced Sky Uk subscription.

Besides, I like Guinness - and chances are, waiting for a poured pint of Black Magic at the Walkie on Saturday would have been agony - like an English winger waiting for the ball.

So Carter is only human? He still recovered and kicked us well territorially. I am liking what I see now of the game plan adapting to the ELVs - we seem to have a few more options if things don’t work. Our 6,7 and 8 were tireless, we absolutely killed them in the breakdown and McCaw was everywhere ... sublime. And I enjoyed the spark Piri Weepu added when he came on. It seems Henry likes to keep him on the bench, fizzing ... then he revels in an appearance.

Maybe a reactive win than a full tilt blinding performance. We did score two great tries (and an opportunistic lurking Hooker score), but it was the huge, shuffling defensive effort that kept the Boks out. And it was great to not see too much high percentage, crazy stuff again.

One concern though: Can anyone remind when was the last time an All Black wing scored a try this year? It seems like forever. Where is Joe?

And so to the UK press. My favourite part of the weekend, when I see what the English scribes have been up to, or what planet they are on:

Lord Sphincter is up to his old tricks - I mean, I myself sometimes get signal interference on Sky in the heavy rain, but what channel is this guy actually watching!? The All Blacks were ‘nothing special’ and DC merely a ‘serviceable player’. Stop it, Steve-O ... my sides are aching. Besides, the last way an All Black would want to appear to an English fan is ‘serviceable’ - he might well end up in a hotel room getting ‘serviced’.

The Indy had Richie down as ‘giving the greatest displays in rugby history’. They also had a little preview of the game on Friday by the shabbily treated Brian Ashton - read between the lines and I think you see a guy very much in favour of the ELVs.

Aunty has us as ‘edging’ the Boks. 19-0? That’s a thicker edge than Brendan McCullum has ever swished his way to.

Good old Guardian lefties got a favourable report too, indeed the tone echoed Sky’s post match opinion of NZ rugby: “Crisis? What crisis?” Does this mean all rugby pundits here in the UK have a thing for Supertramp?

Congrats to Percy Montgomery too. He could not produce the fairytale 100th cap, but hell, 100 tests for South Africa? Pretty amazing when you think about the politics of their game. And they had a minute’s silence pre game for a recently departed Bok, who played a mere 4 tests for his country. Percy should get the back of a coin or bank note surely.

But maybe the best performance, the one that should be cherished the most for possibly saving the game for NZ game (or at least preserved our lead) ... it should go to the demonised Wayne Barnes for eyeing up Brian Habana’s trotter as it dabbed the chalk when he seemed to break free for a try. Mr Barnes can’t quite expect a lifetime of upgrades on Air NZ just yet, and I still can’t totally let go of his Cardiff effort last year, but well ... he was on the job.


80 minutes of the real season left. Off to Brisbane to beat the Wallabies. Hopefully, eh.

Spin Cycle

Now, I prefer not to read The Times, in fact I try to avoid it even in an ablutions emergency, but at lunch on Sunday at a very nice Wandsworth boozer (for Ras’ birthday) it was sitting in front of me. What a pile of vicious, scurrilous, unilateral bile it was. How do they get off printing the deranged ramblings of bitter old fools like Alastair Campbell & that Welsh-born, English RFU sycophant S Jones. These two spout crap like media accredited Lord Haw Haws). Why does a mainstream broadsheet feel it needs to deal in this dross? Real rugby fans pay for their tickets, not like these lesser sorts. They have such an incredible chip on their shoulders about the All Blacks that they get given a double spread to utter forth about New Zealand - six days after beating Australia, then France!? They have not even played us this year (in fact they have not played us at a World Cup since 1995).

They may well end up the only World Champs with an inferiority complex. Again.

Campbell, you may remember him from previous invasions such as “45 Minutes From Whitehall”, is now a freelance Rent-a-Quote for Anything over here in the UK, and is an expert in offering his five quid's worth, even on any sport it seems. In the 2005 Fifa World Cup, last years Ashes, and now the 2007 Rugby World Cup he pops up constantly to give his ‘spin’ on things. However, as I believe Graham Henry said during 2005 Lions Tour, something along the lines of Campbell having no understanding of, and no affinity for, the game of rugby. Back in your hole.

Mind you, so much of the media in this event is not even about the actual games. It’s opinion and anything but accurate reportage - from all nations. Even this assemblage of bits and pixels is only the opinion of an ex-hockey player.

I do not really even get how the arrogant label can be applied to us? I honestly do not remember any All Blacks or any of their coaches displaying this arrogance we are tagged with; we do not berate other teams, players or administrators as a habit. Quiet confidence, no matter how misplaced it has now proven to be, is a completely different thing, and when English rugby basically consists of 30-odd plucky blokes, with the rest of the game’s structure still structurally and politically weak, these hacks should really pull their heads in.

I think they will find enough plaudits coming from genuine rugby fans for the Poms, especially the players that are genuinely world class, but when these hacks slag every one else off despite - against all odds - actually getting the chance to defend their World Championship you have to wonder what energy source or arcane power they use to travel between our dimension and theirs.

Henry seems to be getting more support - and vote for Project Ted at ruggerblogger.

Bernie the Door comes clean about his unspoken love for the All Blacks.

England v South Africa - no one predicted that. I mean, I think a lot of people did tout the Springboks as finalists, a long time ago ... and to be fair it actually caps off a fairly solid year for South Africa. This is why I do not bet on rugby - nothing I predict ever comes off. I should just shut up now, and shift the focus of this whole blog to something else.

Good luck to both teams. I suppose one positive is that we may see two teams, at least start, with different styles of rugby.

My wishes for the World Cup Final on Saturday night:
- Will Greenwood’s mic fails on ITV ... for 80 minutes
- Nelson Mandela leaves Prince Harry hangin’ at a high five attempt
- Laurence Dallaglio is ignored for post match comment
- We get to see some tries, you know, those five pointy things
- If England win, Tama Iti’s guerillas set off to Twickenham to steal the Cup for us all.

Life (and the Tournament) Goes On

There is a lot of rugby left still, and I want to watch it now. After the weekend I thought I would just pass on the remaining games, but why should I? Doesn’t logic dictate that I should now follow France, the team that dared to beat us? Surely it would stroke our egos just that little bit to have the team that beat us go all the way to lift the trophy? Clearly Fi and I would liked to have gone to Paris this weekend, and in fact we have Eurostar tickets and hotels booked ... but without the All Blacks playing it seemed pointless. We’ll take the ticket refund, stick the telly on here in London come Saturday night and probably see a good game. France v England ... who in the world could be more pumped up than these two teams now?

And who deserves it most? Do the poll to the right - if nothing else it’ll be interesting to see if anyone besides our Mum & Dads are reading.

Will the French be content to cat and mouse it again, waiting for cracks? Will the resurgent Men of St George come a cropper against a pack that can actually scrum? Sheridan has been canonised again this week by the UK media; will it last? Surely some interesting head to heads though: Elissalde v Gormasall, Sea Bass v Simon Shaw, Jonny v Beauxis, Betsen & Dusautoir v Moody, Regan v Ibanez. It could be a great game, though I think England have already won their World Cup. Sigh.

Poor Doug Howlett! Looks like expensive French pop might have got to him and the others here in London into a bit of trouble. Either that or he freaked out at the bill for his room. Trust me, even though the Hilton Heathrow does not sound flash, that place (like all UK hotels) is not cheap, but £12,500 on the bar! Picture Sione Luaki asking the barman repeatedly for a “Quick F*ck”. These guys get so much free Steinlager they have no idea what a drink actually costs. Who signed for that tab? Red Card yourself, lads. There must be some cracking CCTV footage floating round though. At least Dougie could have attacked a French car? I feel a new ad campaign and Peugot endorsement package for Doug coming on ...

I think with what I have read in the last few days that we are all calming down about the early exit. There has been humour, reflection ... and even strategic planning, like this from The Dropkicks via Some Foreign Field. I love the idea. We need the Pumas NOW, and with all the excitement being generated in Argentina over the rugby, I am sure Argentinians would love to see their team play at home - not in Spain like UK media keep banging on about. Even Syd Millar says there is no room in the 6N for them. Will someone at SANZAR or Thorndon Quay get planning this straight away, so we are ready in 2010 when the current TV BS deal ends. Does anyone know if Murdoch has a presence in Argentina? That may affect News Corp’s enthusiasm for letting the Pumas in.

Can’t remember where I read it, but someone, somewhere suggested making all end of year tour games into qualifiers, or somehow integral to establishing seedings for future World Cups, so that the resulting pools are more balanced (noticed how all semi-finalist came from just two pools i.e. not ours or Australia’s?). The logic is that countries would not send weak squads away because it could affect their World Cup seeding. It has merit.

And while we are on the subject of revolutionising rugby, how about a revolutionary who played it: Che Guevara

But in the big picture, what does it all mean? It took me a few days to pick up a paper again here, and then a couple more before I returned to reading the front pages first ... and then I started reconnecting with the real world. Puts it in perspective, huh?

Other news:

• As well as being arrogant and sore losers, Kiwis can’t sit still for 80 minutes
• Zinny is not happy
• The Football Ferns are now world class
  

Maybe we’ll find time to talk about the Springboks v Las Pumas tomorrow - personally I’d back the Argetinians - they showed a lot o’ spunk, and their football skills at time outshine their rugby skills in the loose. They can toe ahead a ball so well, they don’t need forward passes from hands ... let it go.

Allez Les Bleus (harrumph)
Lu

A Slow News Week

UK media madness continues with stories about anything but actual games. And I don't think The Current Bun even knows the bloody World Cup is on.

The Times’ Grievin’ Bones says England need Henry as coach! And yesterday’s Metro here in London carried a little item of how the Premiership’s newest league convert Leslie 'The Volcano' Vainikolo, has thoughts of UK residency that could allow him to play for England. What a beat up! Can we cry “poachers” now? Nah, its a tired old line, as my chum Ferdy says, and we should not sink to the level of the UK media drones ... BUT if any Rose-wearing knob says we steal Samoans, just point out to them that in 1914 the NZ Expeditionary Force captured Samoa from Germany in The Great War, and pillaging colonies is a great BRITISH tradition!

Breathe, count to ten ...

Now, are the Irish Rugby team in crisis? Reports of Geordan Murphy being ready to quit for not being picked against Argentina are being denied ... but is he getting ready to do a Keano? Obviously, NZ would prefer a lacklustre Ireland in the Quarter Final, rather than a rebounding Les Bleus side on the rise after their banana peel opener vs the Pumas, and a frolic against Namibia. I think the prospect of either France or (gulp) us going out in the first knockout round would be bad for the tourney as a whole. France going out may kill it in the host nation.

But, are France the Dads Army of this RWC? There are some old heads and long campaigners there (Ibanez, Betsen, Pelous) ... do they have the stamina to match us, or even put us out in Cardiff? I think they have as much, if not slightly more depth than us ... especially at 4 through 8. Players like Betsen, Nyanga and the new 7 Thiery Dusautoir guarantee them quick ball, and Chabal is becoming one of this Cup’s crowd pleasers - check that run for his second try against Namibia.

But I think, with our fit, top XV (whatever that is), we just edge them in solidity, skill & speed.

Big Seb is also settling in at lock, a plan ‘Bernie the Door’ has had for some time apparently, and will play in the second row again, against Ireland. Yannick Jauzion is dropped, but is this cotton wool or the wooden spoon? We ate cracking paninis at a sandwich bar in La Ciotat called ‘Yannick’ with a oval ball logo ... is it Jauzion’s chain?

Chabal’s ultimate nemesis may well be Jerry Collins, who revealed his one weakness to the rugby media yesterday: a childhood fear of roosters. However, his methods of conquering that fear may well silence the crows of Le Coqs Rouge ... at breakneck speed.

Time to go - some pics here we took from our seats at the Italy game. Shows how close we were.

Seen the new England top? Thanks, Fi.

Interesting article here from Independent two weeks back, about rugby's rise under the Vichy regime in the 1940s, how it replaced ‘treize’ the 13 man game with not so subtle political moves.

Lu

Mind the Gap

Its just over three days to go, and only now are The Papers here starting to even notice. The weekend just gone finally saw the likes of The Times and The Observer acknowledge the fact the World Cup was even on this week, but the supplements were poor when you consider the the scale of this sporting event. They were by the numbers, and had a few odd mistakes or items. For a start, The Times identified Matt Giteau as a Springbok player to watch (under a photo of him in the Canary Yellow of the Wallabies), and the Observer saw fit to designate nearly four pages of the ‘World Cup Special’ in their Sport Monthly to an irrelevant chat between two great English journeymen - Martin Corry and ... Matthew Hoggard! Last time I looked, even Henry Paul had more English rugby caps than Hoggard. The cover story: Beckham. Sigh.

Conclusions that they seemed to draw across the board:

• The gap between NZ and the rest of the World has closed - I say “Rope a dope”
• Dan Carter is not the player he was in 2005 - I say “Correct, he’s now got two more years experience”
• Get McCaw: nullify him by making him make tackles and ending up under rucks - I say “Brilliant ... that's his bloody job”
• The weight of expectation is too much for the All Blacks - I say “Duh, its our National Sport. Its the same every Test Match, let alone a World Cup”
• That Ireland will be our 2007 Banana Peel - I say “They have never beaten us. They won’t achieve that in a RWC knockout.”

Mind the Gap I reckon - it’ll open up again in the knockout stages.

With all of England as usual obsessed with the new Premiership season, and the upcoming Euro 2008 qualifiers against Russia and Israel (yes, they’re in UEFA because the Palestinians won’t give their ball back since it went over the Aparthei ..., sorry, Peace Wall) I am glad we are going to France - a rugby country. See the welcome the ABs got in Marseilles? What a master stroke having Monsieur Fluffy McCaw greet the locals in French! Finally a PR success from the Thorndon Quay brains trust. Now even the French are on our side, that’s gotta be a good sign. Mind you, I think that's what Churchill thought ...

ALL BLACK PLAYLIST

TV 3 and Sky (in their 60 second highlights bonanzas) will no doubt rely on Back in Black by AC/DC, or if they really stretch themselves, Men in Black by Will Smith. Yawn. Why not ‘get pumped’ with proper music, I found these tunes lurking on my iPod. Got any others to add?

All Black World Cup - Casiospittake

The Haka - Ka Mate

Men in Black - Frank Black

Black Magic - Jarvis Cocker

Back to Black - Amy Winehouse

Black & White - Asian Dub Foundation

Black Flowers - Yo La Tengo

Black Out - Pavement

Weight of the World - Black Rebel Motorcycle Club

Black Supreme - Ansell Collins & The Upsetters

Waltzin’ Black - The Stranglers

Black Wave - The Shins

Home Again - Shihad

Home, Land & Sea - Trinity Roots (my pick for new natty anthem)

And one last (possible) musical omen - I went to see Sonic Youth perform Daydream Nation in a Don’t Look Back concert at The Roundhouse on Saturday night; it was phenomenal. What’s it got to do with the rugby? Well, it was released in 1988 ... when NZ were World Rugby Champions. Sign of desperation?

Lu

Nervous as the Nineties

No hiding this time. In 1999 I was living in the UK, but chose to spend my cash on a trip home rather than sojourns to sunny Huddersfiled to watch World Cup Games. Somehow the lure of Central America was greater than Hart's All Blacks. Not because I was anti the team; I just think that first 3 years in London had disconnected me from rugby a bit. Now, after another 5 year spell in NZ watching NPC & Super 12, I am fanatical again ... and this time round we have even managed to see the All Blacks play here and in France which can't be beat. Last year we even had primo seats at the new Twickers courtesy of the other half's 3 month stint as a contractor at the RFU. The ultimate mole!

Back in '99 I actually believed we had won the semi against France. I was with my mates Ewen & Jenn, travelling through Mexico & Guatemala during that World Cup, and the last report on the game we got was that we were up at half time, looking good and Big Jonah was going crazy. So while I was sunning it up in Tulum, blissfully ignorant of the final score for three days (news broken by gloating Englishman), AB fans were elsewhere venting their spleens. I didn't have a scooby. I still have the draw I took in my diary, taped on the inside back cover; it has NZ inked in as a finalist. Sad, eh?

Fast forward 8 years: I'm back in London, with a MasterCard maxed out to buy All Black tickets and after one score years, its time to correct our past failings, and put that crap about 'choking' to bed for good. I honestly believe we are as well prepard as we can be. Sure it would be nice to have Tana's old head in the back line, and a bit more game time with centre combinations, but the squad Ted has built up is the envy of the rugby world. I think only France can match us in the potential of their 30 players. Other teams like England and South Africa may try and batter their way through the knockouts, but us and Les Bleus are clear faves ... all we have to is get past those Wallabies. And I have a cunning plan ...

Reschedule the match for midnight - its past their bedtime!

In the UK press today: Guardian: "Since the last World Cup, Graham Henry's men have won 34 of 39 Tests, inflicted a record defeat on the British and Irish Lions and won the southern hemisphere's premier event, the Tri-Nations, three years in a row. They are unbeaten against European nations for over four years and in that time have handed England and France their heaviest home defeats." 'Nuff said.

And the Independent - just when I sometimes begin to nod approval at their coverage they write drivel like this "the Guinness Premiership – firmly established as the leading domestic tournament in the game and envied by every major rugby nation with the single exception of France, who have a thriving league of their own". The only thing I envy about English rugby is its modesty and humility.

Still, the rugby world must look different to them, they are looking up from seventh place. Swing low indeed ;0)

Player Poaching

Here in the UK, when reading what is passed off as rugby journalism, you constantly get annoyed by pointless references to the NZRU 'poaching' players from the Pacific Islands. Its a tired argument, offered up by frustrated Englishmen, and in particular, one confused Welshman at The Times.

Lately the flip-flop is on the other foot though. As if Guinness Premiership beer barons snapping up all our All Blacks for their bloated domestic squads was not bad enough, now our Ballroom Dancing talent is being pinched by an Old Blighty desparate for any slice of glory over their sausage eating foes.

I hope Brendan Cole will be watching the rugby. He may even have a pair or two of Dan Carter briefs for good luck. Then again, these dancers probably go Commando.